English fiction -- 20th century; Social satire, English
“Ah yes,” sighed he, “how too-too!” for he had caught that saying up
by now. “Selia!” he went on madly, “I too must go as soon as we’ve got
through the food and buy some things like theirs in dozens, and I
shall have Withersquash wrote on in sewn letters being smarter than
Harold. Never never before did I know the shame of only having two of
everything one to wear and one to wash until I peeped into this
splendid wardrobe!”
“Yes, you must indeed,” Selia agreed, “and why not have a neat little
“£sd” done underneath like they have their little crowns done, that
would surely be a pretty touch seeing you are a millionaire!”
“Selia, my own!” cried he, “you have said it! And it shall be done and
you shall have some attire too for your pretty thought!”
She was so glad at these words that she poked about a bit more in the
cupboard and what did she espy but two littler piles of close all as
white as snow with a little card over them saying “Sunday.” That
finished Mr. Withersq and he slid down the bannisters after her, they
were so pleased with things, to the room where the Majpottels were
waiting.
Five of the pink housemaids were dojjing round the table which was
nice and large and full of good food in plenty.
“Pray be seated,” cried Gerald, “and fall too.” He was a nice sleek
young man with black slick hair and talked as though with sweets
tucked in the mouth.
So they all sat and ate beef and batter and peas for a start.
“How nice your room is,” said Selia through the food she had stuffed
in her mouth.
“Is it not?” modestly replied Rupert, then he went on: “Our colours
are good are not they?” at which Selia and Mr. Withersquash both
nodded a good many times over and ate some more.
The room was a grand site indeed, crimson and scarlet and red and
vermilion, very odd, with purpley curtains like pretty ink.
“And what do you think of our fireplace?” went on Rupert, blinking his
green eyes.
It was all made of white stone carved out into dogs and monkeys and
things like that with a great face in the middel, twinkley drop things
of sparkling glass stood at each end of it and a gold clock in the
middel under a shade.
“That is very nice,” politely replied Selia.
“Yes, it cost a good bit,” Rupert said.
He then past them some salmon done up with bits of egg and greenery
and they ate that, and then some ham with hot pickels, and then some
nice boiled pudding with jam on it and some frute tart with blobs of
stiff cream and a few ices after (wrapped up in lace paper they were
too), and some very costly kinds of fruits like aprycots and grapes
which they washed down with every kind of wines and beer for as soon
as Selia and Mr. Withersquash had emtied a glass of wines or beer a
pink housemaid came and filled it up again, because the butler who was
leaning against the wall at the back told them to. But the brothers
Majpottel ate almost nothing which is a very polite thing to do, and
in that case you have it in the pantry or up in your bedroom later on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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