English fiction -- 20th century; Social satire, English
Meanwhile the brothers Majpottel had not been idel for they had
wangeled it as well as they could, dropped a hint here and a word
there in the usuel way and kept expectations up to scratch for the
great day of Selia’s tussel with fate, and this was to come off that
very after noon.
Selia was lying on her second floor at the Grand Palace and being
swilled down by a lot of ladys and girls that had come round to look
after her like boxers are done to, and they rubbed and slapped and
jumped her about and flipped her with towels and squooshed water on
her till her arms were as hard as nails and so were her legs too which
was lucky as in tennis you want both.
When they had done with her they helped her to dress and pouder and
then attended her like handmaids to the taxi that was waiting, as
Mr. Withersquash had bought one for her to use. Mr. Withersq who was
now wearing the special poets badge in his coat was waiting for her.
“My hour has come” she wispered to him, she felt a bit bad inside at
the idear. “Have pluck” he wispered back “and then we can get
married!”
So off she drove to Lords which is a large park so called because all
the nuts go there to see the games going on. When they got there there
was a dense throttling crowd and they went in and had a look round to
get their breath before starting. Where they had got to was the wrong
part among the crowd so they pushed on through to the socierty part.
Selia was arrayed in a cordion pleeted white robe with shoes and
stockings to match and Mr. Withersq wore his best day suit and shiny
topper in fine stile and all made way for them with murmurs of praise
so on they stept very saucy.
When they came to the socierty part which had a rope round and went to
go in an haughty dame sniffled over them and would have stopped them
specially Selia.
“And pray what are you up to my good girl?” said she very nasty, but
just then their old friend the admiral came leaping up now in a white
garb, and said:
“Way for the Head Poet and Lady!”
So the haughty dame had to make way and felt very sore put down no
doubt.
After shaking hands with the admiral they stept on to where the King
and Queen had just arrived and said goodday to them which drew a cry
of surprise from all present to see them so well known by the Highest
in the Land.
His Magesty called out,
“The Lady Selia wants to beat the world with her skill at tennis. Who
will take her on?”
And Rupert and Gerald Majpottel now came tripping up and cried “Hi!
This way for the lady tennis champions! Anyone want to try their
strength? Walk up and try to beat the Lady Selia!” This made the
company laugh very harty to hear the brothers go on in this way, which
was their little joke and did a lot of good. For the head lady tennis
players who had been lounging idly in chairs behind the King and Queen
now sprang fiercely forward on hearing this cry of the Majpottels and
said “Here we are!” and there were three of them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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