Alabama -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; Domestic fiction; War stories
Edna lifted her face from the mantel, and clasping her hands across her
head, exclaimed:
"Do I love him? Oh! none but God can ever know how entirely my heart is
his! I have struggled against his fascination--oh! indeed I have
wrestled and prayed against it! But to-day--I do not deceive myself--I
feel that I love him as I can never love any other human being. You are
his mother, and you will pity me when I tell you that I fall asleep
praying for him--that in my dreams I am with him once more--that the
first thought on waking is still of him. What do you suppose it cost me
to give him up? Oh! is it hard, think you, to live in the same world
and yet never look on his face, never hear his voice? God only knows
how hard! If he were dead, I could bear it better. But, ah! to live
with this great sea of silence between us--a dreary, cold, mocking sea,
crossed by no word, no whisper, filled only with slowly, sadly sailing
ghosts of precious memories! Yes, yes! despite all his
unworthiness--despite the verdict of my judgment, and the upbraiding of
my conscience--I love him! I love him! You can sympathize with me. Do
not reproach me; pity me, oh! pity me in my feebleness!"
She put out her arms like a weary child and dropped her face on Mrs.
Murray's shoulder.
"My child, if you had seen him the night before I left home, you could
not have resisted any longer the promptings of your own heart. He told
me all that had ever passed between you; how he had watched and tempted
you; how devotedly he loved you; how he reverenced your purity of
character; how your influence, your example, had first called him back
to his early faith; and then he covered his face and said, 'Mother!
mother! if God would only give her to me, I could, I would be a better
man!' Edna, I feel as if my son's soul rested in your hands! If you
throw him off utterly, he may grow desperate, and go back to his old
habits of reckless dissipation and blasphemy; and if he should! oh! if
he is lost at last, I will hold you accountable, and charge you before
God with his destruction! Edna, beware! You have a strange power over
him; you can make him almost what you will. If you will not listen to
your own suffering heart, or to his love, hear me! Hear a mother
pleading for her son's eternal safety!"
The haughty woman fell on her knees before the orphan and wept, and
Edna instantly knelt beside her and clung to her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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