Mrs. Darling thought nothing of the remark: perhaps George St. John
thought as little. It was an indisputable fact that he was looking
thin, ill, not so strong as he used to look: but many men, wearied
with the late hours, the wear and tear of a London season, look so
every autumn, and grow robust again by spring.
The fact was, he began to suspect that his health was failing. And
when a man, neither a coddler nor a hypochondriac, suspects this, rely
upon it, it is time he looked into the cause. Mr. St. John was
careless of himself, as men mostly are; a year ago he would have
laughed outright at the idea of going to a doctor. But the feeling of
intense weariness, of almost utter want of strength, which had come
upon him in London, coupled with a rapid wasting away, and all without
any cause, had forced him to wonder what was the matter. He had made
an engagement for a walking-tour, and then doubted whether his
strength would be equal to it. That somewhat aroused him; not to
alarm, more to a curiosity as to what could be wrong; and close upon
that, came the summons to Alnwick.
For a day or two after his return, he felt refreshed, stronger, better
in all ways. But the momentary renovation faded again, and by the time
he had been a week at Alnwick he felt weaker than he had felt at all.
The day previous to this conversation with Mrs. Darling, he spoke to
Mr. Pym, telling that gentleman that he thought he wanted tonics.
"Tonics!" repeated Mr. Pym. "What's the matter with you?"
"Nothing that I know of. There it is. I haven't an ailment in the
world, and yet I feel so weak and get so thin. It seems a sort of
wasting away."
A recollection, sharp as a needle, and causing a great deal more pain,
darted into Mr. Pym's mind as he looked at him. Other of the St. Johns
of Alnwick had wasted away without apparent cause; wasted to death.
"We'll soon set you right again," said he, a shade more quickness in
his speech than usual. "You shall have some tonics."
The tonics came; and Mr. St. John took them. He tried other means;
cold bathing, driving out, living almost in the open air; but he did
not grow stronger.
"Didn't my father waste away like this?" he suddenly said to Mr. Pym,
one day.
"Oh, pooh, no!" quite angrily replied the surgeon. "Your father had a
peck of troubles upon him--and I'm sure you can't remember anything
about him, for you were only five years old when he died."
George St. John laughed. "You need not fear frightening me, Pym. I
think he did waste away; but that's no reason, you know, why I should
do so."
He said nothing to his wife of this feeling of indisposition, or that
he was consulting Mr. Pym. This was from no particular wish of
suppressing it; more, that he really did not think it sufficiently
important to speak about. But it came to her knowledge incidentally.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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