JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Odds life, Bridget, you are enough to make one mad! I tell you he would have deceived a chief justice; the dog seemed as ignorant as my clerk, and talked of honesty as if he had been a churchwarden. MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. Pho! nonsense, honesty!—what had you to do, pray, with honesty? A fine business you have made of it with your Humphrey Hum: and miss, too, she must have been privy to it. Lauretta! ay, you would have her called so; but for my part I never knew any good come of giving girls these heathen Christian names: if you had called her Deborrah, or Tabitha, or Ruth, or Rebecca, or Joan, nothing of this had ever happened; but I always knew Lauretta was a runaway name. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Psha, you’re a fool! MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. No, Mr. Credulous, it is you who are a fool, and no one but such a simpleton would be so imposed on. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Why zounds, madam, how durst you talk so? If you have no respect for your husband, I should think _unus quorum_ might command a little deference. MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. Don’t tell me!—Unus fiddlestick! you ought to be ashamed to show your face at the sessions: you’ll be a laughing-stock to the whole bench, and a byword with all the pig-tailed lawyers and bag-wigged attorneys about town. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Is this language for his majestu’s representative? By the statutes, it’s high treason and petty treason, both at once! _Enter_ SERVANT. SERVANT. A letter for your worship. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Who brought it? SERVANT. A soldier. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Take it away and burn it. MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. Stay!—Now you’re in such a hurry—it is some canting scrawl from the lieutenant, I suppose.—[_Takes the letter.— Exit_ SERVANT.] Let me see:—ay, ’tis signed O’Connor. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Well, come read it out. MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. [_Reads_.] _Revenge is sweet_. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. It begins so, does it? I’m glad of that; I’ll let the dog know I’m of his opinion. MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. [_Reads_.] _And though disappointed of my designs upon your daughter, I have still the satisfaction of knowing I am revenged on her unnatural father; for this morning, in your chocolate, I had the pleasure to administer to you a dose of poison!_—Mercy on us! JUSTICE CREDULOUS. No tricks, Bridget; come, you know it is not so; you know it is a lie. MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. Read it yourself. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. [_Reads_.] _Pleasure to administer a dose of poison_!—Oh, horrible! Cut-throat villain!—Bridget! MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. Lovee, stay, here’s a postscript.—[_Reads_.] _N.B. ’Tis not in the power of medicine to save you_. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Odds my life, Bridget! why don’t you call for help? I’ve lost my voice.—My brain is giddy—I shall burst, and no assistance.— John!—Laury!—John! MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. You see, lovee, what you have brought on yourself. _Re-enter_ SERVANT. SERVANT. Your worship!