MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. Oh, barbarous! to want a husband that may wed you to- day, and be sent the Lord knows where before night; then in a twelvemonth perhaps to have him come like a Colossus, with one leg at New York, and the other at Chelsea Hospital. LAURETTA. Then I’ll be his crutch, mamma. MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. No, give me a husband that knows where his limbs are, though he want the use of them:—and if he should take you with him, to sleep in a baggage-cart, and stroll about the camp like a gipsy, with a knapsack and two children at your back; then, by way of entertainment in the evening, to make a party with the serjeant’s wife to drink bohea tea, and play at all-fours on a drum-head:—’tis a precious life, to be sure! LAURETTA. Nay, mamma, you shouldn’t be against my lieutenant, for I heard him say you were the best natured and best looking woman in the world. MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. Why, child, I never said but that Lieutenant O’Connor was a very well-bred and discerning young man; ’tis your papa is so violent against him. LAURETTA. Why, Cousin Sophy married an officer. MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. Ay, Laura, an officer of the militia. LAURETTA. No, indeed, ma’am, a marching regiment. MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. No, child, I tell you he was a major of militia. LAURETTA. Indeed, mamma, it wasn’t. _Enter_ JUSTICE CREDULOUS. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Bridget, my love, I have had a message. LAURETTA. It was cousin Sophy told me so. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. I have had a message, love— MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. No, child, she would say no such thing. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. A message, I say. LAURETTA. How could he be in the militia when he was ordered abroad? MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. Ay, girl, hold your tongue!—Well, my dear. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. I have had a message from Doctor Rosy. MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. He ordered abroad! He went abroad for his health. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Why, Bridget!— MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. Well, deary.—Now hold your tongue, miss. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. A message from Dr. Rosy, and Dr. Rosy says— LAURETTA. I’m sure, mamma, his regimentals— JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Damn his regimentals!—Why don’t you listen? MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. Ay, girl, how durst you interrupt your papa? LAURETTA. Well, papa. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Dr. Rosy says he’ll bring— LAURETTA. Were blue turned up with red, mamma. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Laury!—says he will bring the young man— MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. Red! yellow, if you please, miss. JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Bridget!—the young man that is to be hired— MRS. BRIDGET CREDULOUS. Besides, miss, it is very unbecoming in you to want to have the last word with your mamma; you should know— JUSTICE CREDULOUS. Why, zounds! will you hear me or no?