Black humor; Country life -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Scotland -- Fiction
"Indeed, Dinah?" said Mr. Winterblossom, gravely taking out his
spectacles, and wiping them before he opened the roll of paper; "some
boy's daubing, I suppose, whose pa and ma wish to get him into the
Trustees' School, and so are beating about for a little interest.--But I
am drained dry--I put three lads in last season; and if it had not been
my particular interest with the secretary, who asks my opinion now and
then, I could not have managed it. But giff-gaff, say I.--Eh! What, in
the devil's name, is this?--Here is both force and keeping--Who can this
be, my lady?--Do but see the sky-line--why, this is really a little
bit--an exquisite little bit--Who the devil can it be? and how can he
have stumbled upon the dog-hole in the Old Town, and the snarling b----I
beg your ladyship ten thousand pardons--that kennels there?"
"I dare say, my lady," said a little miss of fourteen, her eyes growing
rounder and rounder, and her cheeks redder and redder, as she found
herself speaking, and so many folks listening--"O la! I dare say it is
the same gentleman we met one day in the Low-wood walk, that looked like
a gentleman, and yet was none of the company, and that you said was a
handsome man."
"I did not say handsome, Maria," replied her ladyship; "ladies never say
men are handsome--I only said he looked genteel and interesting."
"And that, my lady," said the young parson, bowing and smiling, "is, I
will be judged by the company, the more flattering compliment of the
two--We shall be jealous of this Unknown presently."
"Nay, but," continued the sweetly communicative Maria, with some real
and some assumed simplicity, "your ladyship forgets--for you said
presently after, you were sure he was no gentleman, for he did not run
after you with your glove which you had dropped--and so I went back
myself to find your ladyship's glove, and he never offered to help me,
and I saw him closer than your ladyship did, and I am sure he is
handsome, though he is not very civil."
"You speak a little too much and too loud, miss," said Lady Penelope, a
natural blush reinforcing the _nuance_ of rouge by which it was usually
superseded.
"What say you to that, Squire Mowbray?" said the elegant Sir Bingo
Binks.
"A fair challenge to the field, Sir Bingo," answered the squire; "when a
lady throws down the gauntlet, a gentleman may throw the handkerchief."
"I have always the benefit of _your_ best construction, Mr. Mowbray,"
said the lady, with dignity. "I suppose Miss Maria has contrived this
pretty story for your amusement. I can hardly answer to Mr. Digges, for
bringing her into company where she receives encouragement to behave
so."
"Nay, nay, my lady," said the president, "you must let the jest pass by;
and since this is really such an admirable sketch, you must honour us
with your opinion, whether the company can consistently with propriety
make any advances to this man."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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