Every force is subject to laws. Even if they were but the emanations of
an incipient madness which like all else have their origins, destinies,
and forms, these possessing vapours were a force, which in time Morris,
whose mind from a lifelong training was scientific and methodical,
accustomed, moreover, to struggle for dominion over elements unknown or
imperfectly appreciated, learned to regulate if not entirely to
control. Their visits were pleasant to him, a delight even; but to
experience this joy to the utmost he discovered that their power must
be concentrated; that if the full effect was to be produced this moral
morphia must be taken in strong doses, and at stated intervals,
sufficient space being allowed between them to give his mental being
time to recuperate. Science has proved that even the molecules of a
wire can grow fatigued by the constant passage of electricity, or the
edge of a razor by too frequent stropping. Both of them, to be
effective, to do their utmost service, must have periods of rest.
Here, then, his will came to his aid, for he found that by its strong,
concentrated exertion he was enabled both to shut off the sensations or
to excite them. Another thing he found also—that after a while it was
impossible to do without them. For a period the anticipation of their
next visit would buoy him up; but if it were baulked too long, then
reaction set in, and with it the horrors of the Pit.
This was the first stage of his insanity—or of his vision.
Dear as such manifestations might be to him, in time he wearied of
them; these hints which but awakened his imagination, these fantastic
spiced meats which, without staying it, only sharpened his spiritual
appetite. More than ever he longed to see and to know, to make
acquaintance with the actual presence, whereof they were but the
forerunners, the cold blasts that go before the storm, the vague,
mystical draperies which veiled the unearthly goddess at whose shrine
he was a worshipper. He desired the full fierce fury of the tempest,
the blinding flash of the lightning, the heavy hiss of the rain, the
rush of the winds bursting on him from the four horizons; he desired
the naked face of his goddess.
And she came—or he acquired the power to see her, whichever it might
be. She came suddenly, unexpectedly, completely, as a goddess should.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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