He advanced; he knew that he advanced, that the gross wall of sense was
wearing thin beneath the attacks of his out-thrown soul; that even if
they were not drawn, from time to time the black curtains swung aside
in the swift, pure breath of his continual prayers. Moreover, the dead
drew near to him at moments, or he drew near the dead. Even in his
earthly brain he could feel their awful presence as wave by wave soft,
sweet pulses of impression beat upon him and passed through him.
Through and through him they passed till his brow ached, and every
nerve of his body tingled, as though it had become the receiver of some
mysterious current that stirred his blood with what was not akin to it,
and summoned to his mind strange memories and foresights. Visions came
also that he could not define, to slip from his frantic grasp like wet
sand through the fingers of a drowning man. More and more frequently,
and with an ever increasing completeness, did this unearthly air,
blowing from a shore no human foot has trod, breathe through his being
and possess him, much as some faint wind which we cannot feel may be
seen to possess an aspen tree so that it turns white and shivers when
every other natural thing is still. And as that aspen turns white and
shivers in this thin, impalpable air, so did his spirit blanch and
quiver with joy and dread mingled mysteriously in the cup of his
expectant soul.
Again and again those sweet, yet sickening waves flowed over him, to
leave him shaken and unnerved. At first they were rare visitors, single
clouds floating across his calm, coming he knew not whence and
vanishing he knew not whither. Now they drove in upon him like some
scud, ample yet broken, before the wind, till at whiles, as it were, he
could not see the face of the friendly, human sun. Then he was like a
traveller lost in the mist upon a mountain top, sure of nothing,
feeling precipices about him, hearing voices calling him, seeing white
arms stretched out to lead him, yet running forward gladly because amid
so many perils a fate was in his feet.
Now, too, they came with an actual sense of wind. He would wake up at
night even by his wife’s side and feel this unholy breath blowing
ice-cold on his brow and upon the backs of his outstretched hands. Yet
if he lit a candle it had no power to stir its flame; yes, while it
still blew sharp upon him the flame of the candle did not move. Then
the wind would cease, and within him the intangible, imponderable power
would arise, and the voices would speak like the far, far murmur of a
stream, and the thoughts which he could not weigh or interpret would
soak into his being like some strange dew, and, soft, soft as falling
snow, invisible feet would tread the air about him, till of a sudden a
door in his brain seemed to shut, and he woke to the world again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account