“Oh, don’t think that!” she answered, almost imploringly; “for it is
not true, really it is not true. Of course, the next world belongs to
all, but our lot in it does not come to us by right, that must be
earned.”
“The old doctrine of our Faith,” suggested Morris.
“Yes; but, as I believe, there is more behind, more which we are not
told; that we must find out for ourselves with ‘groanings which cannot
be uttered; by hope we are saved.’ Did not St. Paul hint at it?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that as our spirit sows, so shall it reap; as it imagines and
desires, so shall it inherit. It is here that the soul must grow, not
there. As the child comes into the world with a nature already formed,
and its blood filled with gifts of strength or weakness, so shall the
spirit come into its world wearing the garment that it has woven and
which it cannot change.”
“The garment which it has woven,” said Morris. “That means free will,
and how does free will chime in with your fatalism, Miss Fregelius?”
“Perfectly; the material given us to weave with, that is Fate; the time
which is allotted for the task, that is Fate again; but the pattern is
our own. Here are brushes, here is pigment, so much of it, of such and
such colours, and here is light to work by. ‘Now paint your picture,’
says the Master; ‘paint swiftly, with such skill as you can, not
knowing how long is allotted for the task.’ And so we weave, and so we
paint, every one of us—every one of us.”
“What is your picture, Miss Fregelius? Tell me, if you will.”
She laughed, and drew herself up. “Mine, oh! it is large. It is to
reign like that star. It is to labour forward from age to age at the
great tasks that God shall set me; to return and bow before His throne
crying, ‘It is done. Behold, is the work good?’ For the hour that they
endure it is still to be with those whom I have loved on earth,
although they cannot see me; to soothe their sorrows, to support their
weakness, to lull their fears. It is that the empty longing and daily
prayer may be filled, and filled, and filled again, like a cup from a
stream which never ceases.”
“And what is that daily prayer?” asked Morris, looking at her.
“O! God, touch me with Thy light, and give me understanding—yes,
understanding—the word encloses all I seek,” she replied, then,
checking herself, added in a changed voice, “Come, let us go home; it
is foolish to talk long of such things.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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