Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 05, May 22, 1858 — John Shaqi
Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 05, May 22, 1858
General
Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 05, May 22, 1858
New York (N.Y.) -- Politics and government
suburbs of Newark, and see my beloved child, who will salute him like
a brother and deliverer, and who is nearly distracted to behold him.”
Mrs. Briggs sent for us, and we personally responded on the following
day, when we told her that we were chasing Matsell night and day, and
could not spare the time to visit Newark invalids; nor did we desire
to, as we were not a practical physician, and if we assumed the awful
responsibility of treating chronic piles and worms, if a patient died
while under our care, we might be arrested for murder, and be tried
by a jury packed by Dick Connolly, as County Clerk, and be condemned
and hung. So, in comes Mrs. Doughty again, and again, and through her
tears, and those thrilling and irresistible apostrophes of a devoted
mother, she touches the magic cord in the heart of Mrs. Briggs, who
resolved to get me to Newark, if possible. So, she comes at me like
General Putnam’s or Samson’s wives, and demands me to visit Newark to
gratify the invalid’s curiosity to see me, as a matter of humanity, and
said that if I did not go, the daughter might die in a fit, and I would
be responsible to God and man, and to woman also, for she, herself,
would forever hold me responsible for the premature demise of the pale
divinity of Newark. So, we proposed to go, if her husband, Alderman
John H. Briggs, would accompany us. We then winked to Jack, and he
hesitated, which pleased us well, and we peremptorily declined to go.
But Mrs. Briggs then flew at Jack with a fork and pepper box, and Jack
yielded like a docile lamb, and we also had to go, or perhaps receive
the perforation of a fork, or a gill of pepper in our eyes, or listen
to a tongue that might have blistered our conscience. So we saw our
extraordinary physician, who had ejected eleven worms from our belly,
(one of which was tied in a square knot,) and over we went to Jersey
City, where Mr. Doughty, and the most beautiful horses and carriage,
with driver and postilion, anxiously awaited our arrival, and on we
go to the suburbs of Newark, crossing a stream in a ferry boat, that
strongly reminded us of the immortal river Styx. We reach Mr. Doughty’s
elegant residence, and drove through the meandering paths, and cull
pretty flowers, and luscious peaches, and enjoy a rural dinner, and
are escorted by Mrs. Doughty into the presence of her daughter, who
extends her skeleton fingers, and archly lays them in ours, whose icy
coldness thrills the fibres of our bowels. She strives to smile, and
casts tender glances, and looks down into our soul, for a deliverer.
Our eyes reflect the fondest hope, and as she beheld this cheerful
word, on the surface of our vision, she sweetly smiles, and presses our
palm with tenderness and love. And then she breathes patient words of
her afflictions, and touching soliloquies, and sings plaintive verses,
and eclipses the sad Ophelia, when moaning for Hamlet, or scattering
withered flowers, or on the rosy margin of the glassy brook, where
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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