Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 09, June 19, 1858
History
Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 09, June 19, 1858
New York (N.Y.) -- Politics and government
_Bennett_—You may stay now, and, after sweeping out the office, and
folding that pile of papers in the corner, which I could not sell
yesterday, you can accompany me to my Printers, Anderson & Ward, in Ann
street, for the _Herald_ papers of to-day. (John sprinkles and sweeps
out, and folds the papers in half an hour, and he and Bennett start for
Ann street.)
_Bennett_ (at his printer’s in Ann street)—Mr. Anderson, are my papers
ready?
_Anderson_—Yes, but you can’t have them until you pay me for them.
_Bennett_—I have not got enough.
_Anderson_—Then you can’t have them.
_Bennett_—But the newsboys are outside, waiting for them.
_Anderson_—I can’t help that.
_Bennett_—But, my dear sir, do let me have them.
_Anderson_—I shan’t do it.
_Bennett_—Will you take my watch?
_Anderson_—I have taken that twenty times, and, as I am not a
pawnbroker, I am sick of taking your watch as security for the results
of my honest labor.
_Bennett_—Do take it once more.
_Anderson_—I told you, when you last redeemed it, that I should not
take it again.
_Bennett_ (crying)—Do take it once more, Mr. Anderson.
_Anderson_—No, sir. Here, Rufus, put these Heralds in a box, and nail
it, and take the box to my house.
_John_—Do take his watch once more, kind sir. Mr. Bennett has just
employed me, and I’m not afraid to trust him. Besides, just look at
his tears. See how big they are, and how fast they flow and roll down
his manly cheeks. Do, sir, O do let him have the papers, and spare his
tears, and heal his broken heart.
_Anderson_ (looking over his spectacles)—Who the devil are you?
_John_—I am Johnny Kelly.
_Anderson_—What! Does your father live in the Fourteenth Ward?
_John_—Yes, sir, and that’s just where I was born, and have always
lived, and always mean to, and die there also, and, if possible, I
intend to be buried there, in some beautiful cemetery, because I most
fondly love the good and generous people of the Fourteenth Ward. And
now, Mr. Anderson, have I not often seen you at my father’s, on winter
evenings, telling each other funny and pleasing stories of the past?
_Anderson_—Seen me at your father’s, you young rogue? Why, to be sure
you have. I came to America with your father and mother, and my wife
was present when you were born in Mott street, and after your mother
got well, we had a great frolic at your Christening, and went to the
Park Theatre, and you were the fattest and prettiest baby I ever saw.
_John_—You don’t say so? Give me your hand—
_Anderson_ (jumping over the counter)—and a kiss, too, you rosy little
rascal. (Kisses him, and then turns to Bennett.) There, Bennett, take
your papers, and give me your old dumb silver turnip once more, but
I’ll be hanged before I will ever take it again. And you may attribute
your good luck this time to this bright and pretty and honest little
boy, whom I have loved since his infancy. (Bennett and John take the
papers, and let the boys outside have some, and then depart for No. 20
Wall street.)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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