Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 10, June 26, 1858
General
Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 10, June 26, 1858
New York (N.Y.) -- Politics and government
_Bennett_—Well, my lad, I have borrowed a pair of old shoes for you from
my bed-fellow in Cross street. They may be rather large, but you must
contrive to wear them until Saturday, when I will get you a new pair, if
I have the money to spare. Sit down, Johnny, and try on the shoes.
_John_ (puts them on)—They are much too large, aint they?
_Bennett_—Well, yes, but if you put some pieces of newspaper in them,
you can lessen their size.
_John_ (stuffs them in the heels and toes and sides with fragments of
the _Herald_ of the preceding day)—There, sir, I guess I can wear them
now, and I am truly obliged to you for borrowing them for me.
_Bennett_—Not at all, John, for you did more than that for me yesterday,
in obtaining my papers from Mr. Anderson.
_John_ (in hurriedly walking across the office, steps out of one of the
aged shoes, but steps in again before Bennett’s keen eyes perceived that
one foot had stepped out)—That was a great pleasure, sir, and I hope you
will have the same good luck to-day.
_Bennett_—I sold very few papers yesterday, and I have very little
money, and Anderson has my watch, and I fear he will not let me have the
papers until I redeem it, and pay him for the _Heralds_ of to-day.
_John_—I will do all in my power to obtain them for you.
_Bennett_—I know you will, my dear little friend. But come—we will go
and try to get the papers. (They arrive at Anderson & Ward’s, in Ann
street. Anderson is absent, and Ward is partially drunk and asleep on
the counter, and Bennett arouses him.)
_Ward_—What are you about? (rubbing his eyes and garrping.) What do you
want (hic) so early in the morning, you vagabonds? hic, hec, hoc.
_Bennett_—I want my papers.
_Ward_—You can’t (hic) have them without the money, (hoc.)
_Bennett_—Please let me have them.
_Ward_—Where’s your (hic) watch?
_Bennett_—I let Mr. Anderson have it yesterday.
_Ward_—Don’t you (hic-a-che-a-che-Horatio-darn it, how I sneeze) sell
any _Heralds_ now-a-days? a-che-a-che-a-che-Horatio—O, Jerusalem! will I
never stop sneezing?
_Bennett_—It stormed yesterday, and I did not sell many, but it is
pleasant this morning, and I think I shall sell a large number.
_Ward_—Well, I’ll not be (hic, hic, hic,) too hard with you, old fellow.
There, take your papers, and try hard (hic) to sell (hic) them to-day,
and (hic-a-che) bring a whole lot of money to (hic) morrow.
_Bennett_—I will, Mr. Ward, and I’ll always remember you with gratitude
for your generosity to-day. Good day, sir.
_Ward_—Farewell, old boy. And just shut the door alter you. I have been
(hic) on a spree all night, (hec,) and I don’t want anybody else to come
in and bother (hic) me, until I finish my nap.
_Bennett_—I’ll lock the door outside, and put the key in the window.
_Ward_—Do so, old (hic) boy, do so. (And he goes to sleep, and Bennett
and John wend their way to Wall street.)
_Bennett_—Now, John, this is the last chance I shall have. If I fail to
sell my papers to-day, I am ruined for ever.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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