Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 10, June 26, 1858 — John Shaqi
Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 10, June 26, 1858
General
Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 10, June 26, 1858
New York (N.Y.) -- Politics and government
at the Graham House, and the room being crowded, I saw the exercises
through the key hole; Mrs. Travis; Albert Brisbane, a moonlight dreamer;
Mrs. Andrews, a strong Unitarian, (ninety-eight years old,) and her
grandson, Albert L. Smith, a nervous and catarrhal gentleman, who now
keeps a Graham House and Water Cure Establishment in West Washington
Place; Dr. John Burdell, brother of Dr. Harvey Burdell, who was
assasinated at No. 31 Bond Street; Leroy Sunderland, a Mesmeriser and
Pathetic lecturer; John M. King; George Foss; Dr. Henry W. Brown; E.
Gould Buffum, and his brother, William Buffum, now Consul at _Trieste_;
Mrs. Horace Greeley; Mr. Clutz; Mrs. Van Vleet; Messrs. Tyler, Bennett,
(a tailor), Otis, and Ward; Mrs. Gove; C. Edwards Lester; Mr. Danforth,
a spurious reformer; the brothers Fowler, phrenologists; father Miller,
the Millenium impostor; Mr. Seymour, a journeyman hatter at Beebe’s, who
got among the noisy methodists, who frightened him into a dangerous
nervous affection, and in bed one night, poor Seymour felt cold and
strange and numb, and pinched himself in the arms and legs, and it
didn’t hurt him, and he thought he was dead, and he got up, and kindled
a match, and lit a candle, and looked in the glass to see whether he was
dead or alive, and when he saw his eyes roll, and his jaws open and
close, he got into bed, and went to sleep. This was the gang at table,
and for dinner, we had bran bread and crackers, bean soup, roast apples
and potatoes, and boiled squash and carrots, but not a particle of meat,
grease, nor spices. All grabbed violently at the Graham viands, and
brought their teeth together like swine, and with similar grunts and
squeals. I calmly surveyed the motley and hungry group, and saw many
small piercing gray eyes, hollow cheeks, and sharp chins and noses, and
the voices of nearly all were husky and fearfully sepulchral. The themes
discussed were Anti-Slavery and Grahamism, and I soon perceived it
extremely perilous to breathe a word against the ultra views of the
susceptible and long-haired Graham spectres, who seemed united to a
ghost on these prolific themes. So, I listened and breathed not a
syllable in opposition to the crazy views advanced. I took a stroll
after dinner, and returned at sunset, and seated myself for my evening
meal, when we had Graham-bread-coffee, milk porridge, apple sauce,
Graham mush, and boiled rice, sparingly saturated with molasses and
liquid ginger. I ate and drank freely of this light food, and arose from
the table in excellent spirits, though I belched frequently. My belly
soon began to swell, and I got alarmed, and I asked Mr. Goss, the Graham
host, what it meant. He seemed perfectly cool, and said that his
boarders were often affected in that way, in passing suddenly from
greasy meats to the pure food of Grahamites, which was chiefly of a
vegetable and somewhat of a gassy and flatulent character. Goss then
left me. I thrice paced the parlor hurriedly, and began to feel choleric
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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