"You--you must go alone," she said quickly, passing her hand wearily
across her brow. "I have that strange sensation again, as if my brain
is benumbed. My forehead seems on fire, and I can think of nothing
except--except the enormity of my terrible crime."
And she shuddered.
"Fool! some one will overhear you," he whispered, with an imprecation.
"You are only faint. The drive will revive you."
As she rose mechanically, he fastened her _shuba_, then, taking her
roughly by the arm, led her out.
Finishing my meal leisurely, I afterwards sat for a long time over my
tea and cigar, until I gradually became aware that my mind was wandering
strangely, and a curious, apprehensive feeling was oppressing me,
causing me considerable uneasiness. Tossing the cigar away, I pulled
myself together, rose, and went out.
The thermometer was below zero, and in the keen night air my head felt
better, yet as I walked along my senses seemed dulled. The one vivid
impression, however, that remained on my mind was the calm, beautiful
face of the girl who, by a slip of the tongue, had confessed to some
mysterious crime. Walking on under the dark walls of the palace of
Sergiei Alexandrovitch, embellished with its highly-coloured saints and
heads of seraphim, I was suddenly amazed at seeing her standing before
me. But a moment later I laughed heartily, when I saw that her form was
a mere vagary of the imagination. The face, however, seemed so
distorted by passion and indignation as to appear hideous, and in vain I
endeavoured to account for its appearance.
On the Anitchkoff Bridge I paused, and as I leaned over to watch the
skating carnival in progress, there was a movement behind me, and I
heard words uttered in a low half-whisper--
"To-night. On the table!"
I turned quickly, but the unknown messenger was already some distance
away, walking as quickly as his clumsy sheepskin would allow.
It was a summons from the Party of Political Right--the so-called
Nihilists! On one occasion, during my residence in the Russian capital,
as correspondent of a London daily newspaper, I had been able to render
the Terrorists an important service, and being in sympathy with their
attempt to free their country from the terrible yoke of Tzardom, I
sometimes attended their secret meetings.
The message I had received prompted me to take a drosky to an
unfashionable little tea-shop a few doors from the entrance to the
Gostinny Dvor Bazaar. Having seated myself, and ordered a cup of tea
and a cigarette, I leaned my arms on the little round marble table, and,
without attracting notice, proceeded to examine it minutely.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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