Short stories, Russian -- Translations into English
Thoma Grigorovitch had a very strange sort of eccentricity: to the day
of his death he never liked to tell the same thing twice. There were
times when, if you asked him to relate a thing afresh, behold, he would
interpolate new matter, or alter it so that it was impossible to
recognize it. Once on a time, one of those gentlemen (it is hard for
us simple people to put a name to them, to say whether they are
scribblers or not scribblers: but it is just the same thing as the
usurers at our yearly fairs; they clutch and beg and steal every sort
of frippery, and issue mean little volumes, no thicker than an ABC
book, every month, or even every week),--one of these gentlemen wormed
this same story out of Thoma Grigorovitch, and he completely forgot
about it. But that same young gentleman in the pea-green caftan, whom
I have mentioned, and one of whose Tales you have already read, I
think, came from Poltava, bringing with him a little book, and, opening
it in the middle, shows it to us. Thoma Grigorovitch was on the point
of setting his spectacles astride of his nose, but recollected that he
had forgotten to wind thread about them, and stick them together with
wax, so he passed it over to me. As I understand something about
reading and writing, and do not wear spectacles, I undertook to read
it. I had not turned two leaves, when all at once he caught me by the
hand, and stopped me.
"Stop! tell me first what you are reading."
I confess that I was a trifle stunned by such a question.
"What! what am I reading, Thoma Grigorovitch? These were your very
words."
"Who told you that they were my words?"
"Why, what more would you have? Here it is printed: RELATED BY SUCH
AND SUCH A SACRISTAN."
"Spit on the head of the man who printed that! he lies, the dog of a
Moscow pedler! Did I say that? 'TWAS JUST THE SAME AS THOUGH ONE
HADN'T HIS WITS ABOUT HIM. Listen. I'll tell it to you on the spot."
We moved up to the table, and he began.
* * * *
My grandfather (the kingdom of heaven be his! may he eat only wheaten
rolls and makovniki [FOOTNOTE: Poppy-seeds cooked in honey, and dried
in square cakes.] with honey in the other world!) could tell a story
wonderfully well. When he used to begin on a tale, you wouldn't stir
from the spot all day, but keep on listening. He was no match for the
story-teller of the present day, when he begins to lie, with a tongue
as though he had had nothing to eat for three days, so that you snatch
your cap and flee from the house. As I now recall it,--my old mother
was alive then,--in the long winter evenings when the frost was
crackling out of doors, and had so sealed up hermetically the narrow
panes of our cottage, she used to sit before the hackling-comb, drawing
out a long thread in her hand, rocking the cradle with her foot, and
humming a song, which I seem to hear even now.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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