6. He was in grievous agonies of spirit; his former sins stared him in the face, and made him tremble. The poison of God's arrows did even drink up his spirits; the sense of sin and of wrath were so great that he knew not what to do. The weight of God's displeasure, and the thought of lying under it to all eternity, broke him even to pieces, and he bitterly cried out, "What shall I do! I am a miserable sinner, and I fear that I shall go to hell." His sins had been so great and so many, that there was no hope for him. He was not by far so much concerned for his life as for his soul: what would become of that for ever. Now the plague upon his body seemed nothing to that which was in his soul. 7. He not only cried out against his swearing, lying, and other outward notorious sins; but was in great horror for the sin of his nature; the vileness and original corruption of his heart. For this he was in so great anguish that the trouble of his spirit made him forget the pain of his body. 8. He very particularly confessed and bewailed his sins, and some sins so secret that none in the world could charge him with. 9. He would ask others whether they thought there were any hopes for him, and would beg of them to deal plainly with him; for he was greatly afraid of being deceived. 10. Being informed how willing and ready the Lord Jesus Christ was to accept of poor sinners, and being counselled to venture himself upon Christ for mercy and salvation, he said he would fain cast himself upon Christ, but he could not but wonder how Christ should die for such a vile wretch as he was, and he found it one of the hardest things in the world to believe. 11. But at last it pleased the Lord to give him some hope that there might be mercy for him, the chief of sinners; and he was enabled to lay hold upon that, "Come unto me all ye that are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Nor was it long before he was full of praise and admiration of God; so that, to speak in the words of one that was an eye and ear witness, he was so full of joy and praise that he longed for heaven. 12. He now grew exceedingly in knowledge, experience, patience, humility, and self-abhorrence. He prayed before, but now the Lord poured out upon him the spirit of prayer in an extraordinary manner; so that now he prayed more frequently, more earnestly, more spiritually than ever. O how eagerly would he beg to be washed in the blood of Jesus! And that the King of kings, and Lord of lords, who was over heaven and earth, would pardon and forgive him all his sins, and receive his soul into his kingdom. And what he spoke was with so much life and fervour of spirit, that it filled the hearers with astonishment and joy. 13. He had no small sense of the use and excellence of Christ, and such longings and breathings of his soul after him, that when mention has been made of Christ, he hath been ready to leap out of his bed for joy.