roused in me was so great that, in this and every one of the three
following rounds, I floored the baker.
“Round 18th. The baker came up piping, and manifestly the worse for
wear. His geometrical exploits in the four last rounds had done him no
good. However, he showed some skill in stopping a message which I was
sending to his cadaverous mug: in delivering which, my foot slipped, and
I went down.
“Round 19th. Surveying the baker, I became ashamed of having been so
much bothered by a shapeless mass of dough; and I went in fiercely, and
administered some severe punishment. A rally took place,--both went
down,--baker undermost,--ten to three on amateur.
“Round 20th. The baker jumped up with surprising agility: indeed, he
managed his pins capitally, and fought wonderfully, considering that he
was drenched in perspiration; but the shine was now taken out of him,
and his game was the mere effect of panic. It was now clear that he
could not last much longer. In the course of this round we tried the
weaving system, in which I had greatly the advantage, and hit him
repeatedly on the conk. My reason for this was, that his conk was
covered with carbuncles; and I thought I should vex him by taking such
liberties with his conk, which in fact I did.
“The three next rounds, the master of the rolls staggered about like a
cow on the ice. Seeing how matters stood, in round twenty-fourth I
whispered something into his ear, which sent him down like a shot. It
was nothing more than my private opinion of the value of his throat at
an annuity office. This little confidential whisker affected him
greatly; the very perspiration was frozen on his face, and for the next
two rounds I had it all my own way. And when I called _time_ for the
twenty-seventh round, he lay like a log on the floor.”
“After which,” said I to the amateur, “it may be presumed that you
accomplished your purpose.” “You are right,” said he, mildly, “I did;
and a great satisfaction, you know, it was to my mind, for by this means
I killed two birds with one stone”; meaning that he had both thumped the
baker and murdered him. Now, for the life of me, I could not see _that_;
for, on the contrary, to my mind it appeared that he had taken two
stones to kill one bird, having been obliged to take the conceit out of
him first with his fist, and then with his tools. But no matter for his
logic. The moral of his story was good, for it showed what an
astonishing stimulus to latent talent is contained in any reasonable
prospect of being murdered. A pursy, unwieldy, half-cataleptic baker of
Mannheim had absolutely fought six-and-twenty rounds with an
accomplished English boxer merely upon this inspiration; so greatly was
natural genius exalted and sublimed by the genial presence of his
murderer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account