I don’t doubt you think it rather absurd that I should trouble myself
about these matters. You tell me, with some show of reason, that all I
shall find in the young girl’s book will be some outlines of angels with
immense eyes, traceries of flowers, rural sketches, and caricatures,
among which I shall probably have the pleasure of seeing my own features
figuring. Very likely. But I’ll tell you what _I_ think I shall find. If
this child has idealized the strange little bit of humanity over which
she seems to have spread her wings like a brooding dove,——if, in one of
those wild vagaries that passionate natures are so liable to, she has
fairly sprung upon him with her clasping nature, as the sea-flowers fold
about the first stray shell-fish that brushes their outspread tentacles,
depend upon it, I shall find the marks of it in this drawing-book of
hers,——if I can ever get a look at it,——fairly, of course, for I would
not play tricks to satisfy my curiosity.
Then, if I can get into this Little Gentleman’s room under any fair
pretext, I shall, no doubt, satisfy myself in five minutes that he is
just like other people, and that there is no particular mystery about
him.
VII.
I love to look at this “Rainbow,” as her father used sometimes to call
her, of ours. Handsome creature that she is in forms and colors, fit for
a sea-king’s bride, it is not her beauty alone that holds my eyes upon
her. Let me tell you one of my fancies, and then you will understand the
strange sort of fascination she has for me.
It is in the hearts of many men and women——let me add children——that
there is a _Great Secret_ waiting for them,——a secret of which they
get hints now and then, perhaps oftener in early than in later years.
These hints come sometimes in dreams, sometimes in sudden startling
flashes,——second wakings, as it were,——a waking out of the waking state,
which last is very apt to be a half-sleep. I have many times stopped
short and held my breath, and felt the blood leaving my cheeks, in one of
these sudden clairvoyant flashes. Of course I cannot tell what kind of a
secret this is; but I think of it as a disclosure of certain relations
of our personal being to time and space, to other intelligences, to the
procession of events, and to their First Great Cause. This secret seems
to be broken up, as it were, into fragments, so that we find here a word
and there a syllable, and then again only a letter of it; but it never is
written out for most of us as a complete sentence, in this life. I do not
think it could be; for I am disposed to consider our beliefs about such a
possible disclosure rather as a kind of premonition of an enlargement of
our faculties in some future state than as an expectation to be fulfilled
for most of us in this life. Persons, however, have fallen into
trances,——as did the Reverend William Tennent, among many others,——and
learned some things which they could not tell in our human words.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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