others.' 'But they want you to go!' I pleaded in inexpressible dismay.
'It will be the awfulest disappointment!' It seems to me that I still
remember every word of her reply. She said that she knew it, that her
education had been the whole family's day dream. But that, in the first
place, it would be harder than they would admit for them to have her go.
'If it were only this it would be hard,' she said, 'but we could bear
it; but--it isn't. What they couldn't bear would be to--to have me grow
away from them. I _couldn't_, truly; but--you know Elsa is at home now.
She talks of nothing but her college, her college friends, her high
marks at exams, her basketball team, and all that. She is always
complaining of her own people's plain ways. Connie, I can see so plainly
that when she has finished the education which her parents are pinching
themselves to give her she will use it to establish herself as far as
possible from them.'
"'Oh, Elsa?' I sniffed. 'I can believe anything of Elsa. _You_ couldn't
be so horrid and snobbish!'
"'She doesn't mean to be horrid, or know she is; she speaks of her
mother with tears in her eyes. It is only that she has gone into another
world from them, and wants to stay there. I don't want to go into any
other world than my father's and the others'. I don't want any better
taste than they have! I want better taste and I want them to have it,
but I want us all to get it together. Whatever I get I want to share
with them. I couldn't if I went away. I used to think I could bring it
all back in a lump; but I know better now. You can't pot culture and
give it away as you choose; you have to grow it from the seed. What I am
afraid of is that they should not get what I get. So far they have; why,
aunty knows more of Virgil from hearing me translate aloud than I do
myself; and dad is wonderful in geometry, and he has taught _me_ to love
Charles Lamb, whom he loved just from the extracts in the literature.
First he bought the Essays, then I bought him the Letters. It is that
way with so many things. You know'--she laughed--'you know we have some
long-legged Fra Angelico angels instead of the pictures of Lincoln and
Grant; they are in other frames, which my father made, and hang in the
hall; and the Rogers groups have gone up-stairs, and, Connie, Oscar and
dad and I have had a real artist paint a pastel of Uncle Jed as a
present for aunty, and we have it in the parlor now; and nobody's
feelings are hurt; we were all pleased together. That is the right way.
I can't take any other way. Not even to be with you, Connie. No, dear, I
can't go.' I am afraid I made it harder for her with my selfish grief,
and her father almost frantically opposed the sacrifice, he who was
always so tranquil; and Oscar was angry, and Ned cried. Oh, we gave poor
Nannie a frightful quarter of an hour; but she did not go."
"What became of her? How did it turn out in the end?" asked the youngest
member.
"I don't know," answered Mrs. Curtis.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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