Strictly Business: More Stories of the Four MillionHenry, O.
Philosophy
Strictly Business: More Stories of the Four Million
Henry, O.
New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
“Well,” said Forster, “my experience has been the limited one of a city
man. I haven’t seen the world as you have; but it seems that we view it
with the same opinion. But, I tell you I am grateful for even this
little venture of ours into the borders of the haphazard. There may be
at least one breathless moment when the bill for the dinner is
presented. Perhaps, after all, the pilgrims who traveled without scrip
or purse found a keener taste to life than did the knights of the Round
Table who rode abroad with a retinue and King Arthur’s certified checks
in the lining of their helmets. And now, if you’ve finished your
coffee, suppose we match one of your insufficient coins for the
impending blow of Fate. What have I up?”
“Heads,” called Ives.
“Heads it is,” said Forster, lifting his hand. “I lose. We forgot to
agree upon a plan for the winner to escape. I suggest that when the
waiter comes you make a remark about telephoning to a friend. I will
hold the fort and the dinner check long enough for you to get your hat
and be off. I thank you for an evening out of the ordinary, Mr. Ives,
and wish we might have others.”
“If my memory is not at fault,” said Ives, laughing, “the nearest
police station is in MacDougal Street. I have enjoyed the dinner, too,
let me assure you.”
Forster crooked his finger for the waiter. Victor, with a locomotive
effort that seemed to owe more to pneumatics than to pedestrianism,
glided to the table and laid the card, face downward, by the loser’s
cup. Forster took it up and added the figures with deliberate care.
Ives leaned back comfortably in his chair.
“Excuse me,” said Forster; “but I thought you were going to ring Grimes
about that theatre party for Thursday night. Had you forgotten about
it?”
“Oh,” said Ives, settling himself more comfortably, “I can do that
later on. Get me a glass of water, waiter.”
“Want to be in at the death, do you?” asked Forster.
“I hope you don’t object,” said Ives, pleadingly. “Never in my life
have I seen a gentleman arrested in a public restaurant for swindling
it out of a dinner.”
“All right,” said Forster, calmly. “You are entitled to see a Christian
die in the arena as your _pousse-café_.”
Victor came with the glass of water and remained, with the disengaged
air of an inexorable collector.
Forster hesitated for fifteen seconds, and then took a pencil from his
pocket and scribbled his name on the dinner check. The waiter bowed and
took it away.
“The fact is,” said Forster, with a little embarrassed laugh, “I doubt
whether I’m what they call a ‘game sport,’ which means the same as a
‘soldier of Fortune.’ I’ll have to make a confession. I’ve been dining
at this hotel two or three times a week for more than a year. I always
sign my checks.” And then, with a note of appreciation in his voice:
“It was first-rate of you to stay to see me through with it when you
knew I had no money, and that you might be scooped in, too.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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