Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 3: Analysis of the Sexual Impulse; Love and Pain; The Sexual Impulse in WomenEllis, Havelock
Science
Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 3: Analysis of the Sexual Impulse; Love and Pain; The Sexual Impulse in Women
Ellis, Havelock
Sex; Sex (Psychology)
"About this time the farm servant of a neighbor taught me
masturbation. The mistress of the farm, a thin, willowy, dark
woman, the mother of several children, treated me with such
familiarity as once to urinate in my presence, so that I saw her
very hirsute mons veneris. From that moment I conceived a great
passion for her, and used to tremble as soon as I saw her. I had
become well developed and virile, but, though I think she was a
lustful woman, I never ventured to touch her. I found an extreme
ecstasy in masturbating while gazing upon some article of her
clothing. This gave me much greater sexual pleasure than actual
connection with the ever-willing sister of my schoolfellow. I
think I loved the married woman best because the mons veneris was
more covered with hair.
"This has always had a peculiar attraction for me. Later, when
accosted by prostitutes, I never would go with them unless I was
assured the mons veneris was very hirsute. Never much addicted to
masturbation, I derived no great enjoyment therefrom unless I had
hair or part of the clothing of the woman with whom I was
indulging in psychic coitus.
"At 16 I left school and went to a large city to learn a
business. At this time the sexual appetite was very strong. I
frequently had intercourse with three women in one evening.
"I have had but few lascivious dreams. In these the phantom
partner was almost invariably a dead woman. (When about 8 I had
seen the dead body of an aunt who died at 24.)
"When 20 I went to London and took all the pleasure which came my
way. I cared only for normal coitus. Offers of another type
created disgust. I once allowed a woman to exhaust me sexually
orally, but felt degraded thereby. Women with whom I had become
very intimate often urged me to _cunnilingus_, but I could not do
it. I have practised intermammary coitus a very few times.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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