Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 3: Analysis of the Sexual Impulse; Love and Pain; The Sexual Impulse in WomenEllis, Havelock
Science
Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 3: Analysis of the Sexual Impulse; Love and Pain; The Sexual Impulse in Women
Ellis, Havelock
Sex; Sex (Psychology)
"Sexual dreams took place first at about the age of 13; there was
then emission and sensation in sleep. These were, however, not
much associated with distinctly sexual dreams. All that I recall
after them was the sensation, which, however, I did not even then
absolutely localize. Masturbation was undoubtedly the direct
result of these dreams. It was tried at first tentatively, out of
curiosity to determine if the sensation of the dream could be so
reproduced. Sexual dreams, such as I have described, occurred
frequently, although I cannot say at what interval. I have never
experienced the slightest attraction for the same sex."
HISTORY V.--"My maternal grandfather" (writes the subject of this
history) "was a small farmer who kept a few beagles and
greyhounds for hare-hunting. He had three daughters, one of whom
became my mother. One of his sporting companions, a doctor of
profligate habits and a drunkard, seduced my mother at the age of
20. When her condition was discovered she had to flee from the
violence of her father, and I was born some distance from her
home. After my grandfather's death I was reared by my
grandmother, and saw nothing of my mother until I was nearly 16;
she had left the country in shame and disgrace.
"I believe that in my heredity the transmission comes chiefly
from my mother, who is now 58 years old. Although her life has
been blameless in every particular since her youthful
indiscretion, she has never got over it. I feel in my character a
reflection of her overstrung condition during pregnancy.
"I can distinctly remember from the age of 9 years, and am sure
that I had no sexual feelings before the age of 13, though always
in the company of girls. I had many boyish passions for girls,
always older than myself, but these were never accompanied by
sexual desires. I deified all my sweethearts, and was satisfied
if I got a flower, a handkerchief, or even a shred of clothing of
my inamorata for the time being. These things gave me a strange
idealistic emotion, but caused no sexual desire or erection.
"At 13 a 26-year-old sister of a boy companion once sat down on a
sheaf of corn so as to expose the mons veneris and enticed me to
copulate. There was slight erection, and after the act had been
continued some time a pleasurable sensation of ejaculation, but
without true emission. I had frequent relations with this woman
after that.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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