The first crude manifestation of this disposition to make rule, to
rationalise life by subjecting it to a general method, is seen in those
actions which seem little more than the working of habit, the insistence
on the customary lines of procedure at meals and such like. A mother
writes that her boy when five years old was quite a stickler for
punctilious order in these matters. His cup and spoon had to be put in
precisely the right place, the sequences of the day, as the lesson
before the walk, the walk before bed, had to be rigorously observed. Any
breach of the customary was apt to be resented as a sort of impiety.
This may be an extreme instance, but my observation leads me to say that
such punctiliousness is not uncommon. What is more, I have seen it
developing itself where the system of parental government was by no
means characterised by severe insistence on such minutiæ of order. And
this would seem to show that it cannot wholly be set down to the
influences of such government. It seems rather to be a spontaneous
extension of the realm of rule or law.
This impulse to extend rule appears more plainly in many of the little
ceremonial observances of the child. Very charmingly is this respect for
rule exhibited in relation to his animals, dolls and other pets. Not
only are they required to do things in a proper orderly manner, but
people have to treat them with due deference.
“Every night,” writes a mother of her boy aged two years seven months,
"after I have kissed and shaken hands with him, I have to kiss his
‘boy,’ that is his doll, who sleeps with him, and to shake its two
hands—also to shake the four hoofs of a tiny horse which lies at the
foot of his cot. When all this has been gone through, he stands up and
entreats, ‘More tata, please, more tata,’ _i.e._, ‘kiss me again and
say more good-nights’. These customs of his with regard to kissing are
peculiar to himself—he kisses his ‘boy’ (doll), also pictures of
horses, dogs, cocks and hens, and he puts his head against us _to be
kissed_; but he will only shake hands and will not kiss people
himself: he reserves his kisses for what he seems to feel inferior
things. We kiss our boy, he kisses his; but he insists upon being
shaken hands with for his part. If other children come to play he
gives them toys, watches them with delight, tries to give them rides
on his ‘go-go’s,’ but does not kiss them; though he will stroke their
hair he does not return their kisses. It seems to me that he regards
it as an action to be reserved for an inferior thing."
I have quoted at length this careful bit of maternal observation because
it seems to indicate so clearly a spontaneous extension of a custom. The
practice of the mother and father in kissing him was generalised into a
rule of ceremony in the treatment of all inferiors.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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