For, if we come to analyze them, what are the speeches which find so
objectionable? "Do it yourself, if you are so smart." "Maybe, I am
rude, but I'm not any ruder than you are." "I think you are just as
mean as mean can be; I wouldn't be so mean!" Is this last speech any
worse in reality than "You are a very naughty little girl, and I am
ashamed of you," and all sorts of other expressions of candid adverse
opinion? Besides these forms of impudence, there is the peculiarly
irritating: "Well, you do it yourself; I guess I can if you can."
In all these cases the child is partly it the right. He is stating
the feet as he sees it, and violently asserting that you are not
privileged to demand more of him than of yourself. The evil comes in
through the fact that he is doing it in an ugly spirit. He is not only
desirous of stating the truth, but of putting you in the wrong and
himself in the right, and if this hurts you, so much the better. All
this is because he is angry, and therefor, in impudence, the true evil
to be overcome is the evil of anger.
[Sidenote: Example]
Show him, then, that you are open to correction. Admit the justice
of the rebuke as far as you can, and set him an example of careful
courtesy and forbearance at the very moment when these traits are most
conspicuously lacking in him. If some special point is involved,
some question of privilege, quietly, but very firmly, defer the
consideration of it until he is master of himself and can discuss the
situation with an open mind and in a courteous manner.
CORPORAL PUNISHMENT.
In all these examples, which are merely suggestive, it is impossible
to lay down an absolute moral recipe, because circumstances so truly
alter cases--in all these no mention is made of corporal punishment.
This is because corporal punishment is never necessary, never right,
but is always harmful.
[Sidenote: Moral Confusion]
There are three principal reasons why it should not be resorted to:
_First_, because it is indiscriminate. To inflict bodily pain as a
consequence of widely various faults, leads to moral confusion. The
child who is spanked for lying, spanked for disobedience, and spanked
again for tearing his clothes, is likely enough to consider these
three things as much the same, as, at any rate, of equal importance,
because they all lead to the same result. This is to lay the
foundation for a permanent moral confusion, and a man who cannot see
the nature of a wrong deed, and its relative importance, is incapable
of guiding himself or others. Corporal punishment teaches a child
nothing of the reason why what he does is wrong. Wrong must seem to
him to be dependent upon the will of another, and its disagreeable
consequences to be escapable if only he can evade the will of that
other.
[Sidenote: Fear versus Love]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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