In the first place, speech means less to children than to grown
persons. Each word has a smaller content of experience. They cannot
get the full force of the most clear and eloquent statement. Therefore
all speech must be reinforced by example, and by as many forms of
concrete illustrations as can be commanded. Each necessary truth
should enter the child's mind by several channels; hearing, eye-sight,
motor activity should all be called upon. Many truths may be
dramatized. This, where the mother is clever enough to employ it, is
the surest method of appeal. But in any case, speech alone must not
be relied upon, nor the child considered a hopeless case who does not
respond to it.
Denunciatory speech especially needs wise regulation. As Richter says,
"What is to be followed as a rule of prudence, yea, of justice, toward
grown-up people, should be much more observed toward children, namely,
that one should never judgingly declare, for instance, 'You are a
liar,' or even, 'You are a bad boy,' instead of saying, 'You have told
an untruth,' or 'You have done wrong.' For since the power to command
yourself implies at the same time the power of obeying, man feels a
minute after his fault as free as Socrates, and the branding mark
of his _nature_, not his _deed_, must seem to him blameworthy of
punishment.
"To this must be added that every individual's wrong actions, owing to
his inalienable sense of a moral aim and hope, seem to him only short,
usurped interregnums of the devil, or comets in the uniform solar
system. The child, consequently, under such a moral annihilation,
feels the wrong-doing of others more than his own; and this all the
more because, in him, want of reflection and the general warmth of his
feelings, represent the injustice of others in a more ugly light than
his own."
[Sidenote: Example versus Precept]
If any one desires to prove the superior force of example over
precept, let him try teaching a baby to say "Thank you" or "Please,"
merely by being scrupulously careful to say these things to the baby
on all fit occasions. No one has taken the statistics of the number
of times every small child is exhorted to perfect himself in this
particular observance; but it is safe to say that in the United States
alone these injunctions are spoken something like a million times
a day and all quite unnecessarily. The child will say "Please"
and "Thank you" without being told to do so, if he merely has his
attention called to the fact that the people around him all use these
phrases.
[Sidenote: Politeness to Children]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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