Thus doth false pride fantastic minds mislead, And make our weaker sex seem weak indeed: Suppose, to prove this truth, in mirthful strain, We bring the _Dripping family_ again.-- Papa, a tallow chandler by descent, Had read "how _larning_ is most excellent:" So Miss, returned from boarding school at Bow, Waits to be finished by Mama and Co.-- "_See, spouse, how spruce our Nan is grown, and tall_; _I'll lay, she cuts a dash at Lord Mayor's ball_."-- In bolts the maid--"_Ma'am! Miss's master's come_";-- Away fly Ma' and Miss to dancing room-- "_Walk in, Mounseer; come_, Nan, _draw up like me_."-- "_Ma foi! Madame, Miss like you as two pea._"-- Mounseer takes out his kit; the scene begins; Miss trusses up; my lady Mother grins;-- "_Ma'amselle, me teach a you de step to tread_; _First turn you toe, den turn you littel head_; _One, two, dree, sinka, risa, balance; bon_, _Now entrechat, and now de cotillon_." [Singing and dancing about. "_Pardieu, Ma'amselle be one enchanting girl_; _Me no surprise to see her ved an Earl_."-- "_With all my heart," says Miss; "Mounseer, I'm ready_; _I dream'd last night, Ma, I should be a Lady_." Thus do the _Drippings_, all important grown, Expect to shine with lustre not their own; New airs are got; fresh graces, and fresh washes, New caps, new gauze, new feathers, and new sashes; Till just complete for conquest at Guildhall, Down comes an order to suspend the ball. Miss Shrieks, Ma' scolds, Pa' seems to have lost his tether; Caps, custards, coronets--all sink together-- Papa resumes his jacket, dips away, And Miss lives single, till next Lord Mayor's day. If such the _sorrow_, and if such the strife, That break the comforts of domestic life, Look to the hero, who this night appears, Whose boundless excellence the World reveres; Who, friend to nature, by no blood confin'd, Is the glad relative of all mankind. * * * * * * Transcriber's note: Contemporary spelling, hyphenation and punctuation (including placement of apostrophes) have generally been retained even where inconsistent. The following changes were made to the text: In ACT 1, Scene 1, the misspelling "underderstand" was corrected in the speech: _Sir Luke._ _Politesse!_ how shou'd you understand what is real _politesse_? In ACT 4, Scene 1, the misspelling "cant't" was corrected in the speech: _Sir Luke._ And I can't say I wonder at your blushing. In ACT 5, Scene 3, the misspelling "Lady Ter." was corrected in the passage: _Lady Tre._ [_Without._] Where is the poor creature? Shortly afterwards, in a speech by Haswell, the spelling "Aureila's" was regularised as follows: (...) might I plead, Sir Luke, for your interest with Aurelia's friends (...) In the speech by Sir Luke that follows, "you" was changed to "your" in the passage: