French fiction -- 20th century -- Translations into English
After the dark winter Easter had come. That Sunday morning Annette was
wandering about Paris. The sky had blossomed again; the air was
motionless. With her soul wrapped in its mourning, she heard the
nostalgic calls of the church-bells; and their sonorous net caught her
up in its meshes, drew her outside the flood of this indifferent age to
the beach where the dead God lay. She entered a church. She had scarcely
taken two or three steps before she was stifled by her tears; she had
repressed them so long, and they were flowing again. On her knees, with
bowed head, in a corner of a chapel, she let them flow. Never had she
felt as now the tragedy of this day. She listened to the organ, to the
hymns, the hymns of joy. . . . Joy! . . . Sylvie's laughter, with her
soul weeping in its depths. . . . Ah, she realized it so clearly to-day:
there was no resurrection for the poor dead! And the despairing love
for one's own, that age-old love, wearing itself out denying their
death. . . . How much more grand and religious this poignant verity was
than an illusory resurrection! That passionate self-deception, that
heart-breaking self-deception, which could not consent to losing one's
beloved ones.
She could not share her thoughts with anyone. Shut up in herself, with
the little dead girl, she defended her against the second, the most
terrible, of deaths, oblivion. She reacted harshly against herself and
against the others. And as every reaction against a way of thinking
leads by its recoil to a contrary reaction, her attitude of reproach
provoked those who felt themselves hurt by it to exaggerate their own.
And the breach widened.
It became almost complete between the mother and the son. Marc grew
further and further away from Annette. For years the antagonism had been
growing more evident, but until these latter days it had remained, on
the child's side, veiled, hidden, cautious. During the long period when
he had lived so intimately with Annette, he had been very careful not to
fall into any argument with her; he would have been no match for her,
and above everything else he wanted peace. He let his mother talk. Thus,
one by one, she revealed her weaknesses to him, while he revealed
nothing. But now that he had found an ally in his aunt, he no longer
concealed his hand. How many times in the past his mother, losing
patience with this little mollusc, who drew his mind back into his shell
when she wanted to reach it, had said to him, "Come out of your hole!
Let's have a glimpse of your head. Don't you know how to talk?"
He knew, Annette could have her satisfaction. He talked now. . . . It
would have been better if he had continued to be silent! . . . What a
little wrangler! Ah, he no longer hesitated to contradict her. He
allowed nothing to pass from his mother's mouth without obstinately
cavilling at it. And in what an impertinent tone!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account