French fiction -- 20th century -- Translations into English
One afternoon she fled. She went to Sylvie's and asked her to let her
child stay with her for a few days, pleading as an excuse that she had
to go away. Sylvie asked for no explanation; one glance was enough. This
woman, whose curiosity was so often indiscreet, and who was unable in so
many ways to understand her sister's ideas, had an instinct for love and
its tragic tricks. In the days of the old intimacy with Annette, she had
never confided to her the secrets of her own love affairs, and she did
not expect Annette to open herself to her. She knew that every woman has
a right to her hours of silence, her great hours, and that at such times
no one can help her. One must save oneself alone or perish alone. She
offered her sister the shelter of a little house she owned in the
suburbs, near Jouy-en-Josas. Annette was touched, and she kissed her and
accepted. In this little rustic house, on the edge of the woods, she
shut herself up for a fortnight. She had not even told Marc where she
was going. Her retreat was known only to Sylvie.
Scarcely had she left Paris and its enchanted circle than she perceived
the excesses of the past few weeks and passed judgment on them. She was
terrified by them. She, this mad creature, this miserable slave drunk
with her own servitude! Passion, the destroyer of the soul! . . . Its
clasp loosened. She breathed again, this evening, she saw and felt once
more the fields, the woods, the calm of the earth. For two months an
opaque red veil had concealed the living world from her. Even those
closest to her, her son, had come to seem far away. . . . But when she
reached the house in the fields, the veil was torn away in the rays of
the setting sun. She heard the bells, the birds, the voices of the
peasants; she wept with relief. . . . In the middle of the night,
however--she had fallen asleep exhausted--she awoke suddenly with a pang
of anguish. She felt about her throat the coils of the serpent.
She spent her days in a succession of humiliating tortures, bland
impulses, moments of sudden, keen, absolute clairvoyance that pierced
the great deception. She had a perpetual feeling of insecurity. Even
though she was prepared and armed, a mere nothing would have caused her
to give way. She prolonged her absence.
She was not without danger of imperilling her situation. In this sudden
eclipse, she was losing her lessons. The little clientele that she had
gathered with so much trouble was passing into other hands. Sylvie
forwarded letters and information to her sister, but she added nothing
but good news about the child's health. She avoided giving her any
advice. Annette alone was to judge.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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