French fiction -- 20th century -- Translations into English
The duel of passion only preserves its nobility as long as there is
equality between the combatants. When one is conquered the other abuses
his victory and the vanquished becomes debased. Annette was at that
poignant moment which precedes and determines defeat. She knew it: her
strength would not sustain her any longer. Philippe knew this also, and
his attitude showed it. It made no difference that he cared just as
much--perhaps more, for Annette; he showed less consideration for her
and he made brutal use of what belonged to him. He treated her like a
conquered province. With all his days absorbed in his regular and
passionate life of toil and his nights by Noémi (for he wished to keep
up appearances), he saw Annette only during brief and burning
encounters. No intimacy of the heart. He maintained, cynically, that she
had the best of it all.
She wanted to tear herself away from this degradation in which her
senses were accomplices, but every day they became more imperious. Once,
when she wished to flee from their tyranny, they refused to obey with a
violence that dismayed her. A woman of such fervent energy who, after
having severely disciplined and repressed her passions for ten years,
opens the door of their cage at the most fiery moment of the stormy
summer, runs the risk of being destroyed.
Annette could only retrieve herself by forcing Philippe to respect the
wife she wished to be--the companion "_rei humanœ atque divinœ_"--the
equal. She asked Philippe, she besought him in anguish, to give her up
till the time came when they could love and marry openly. Philippe
refused: he was as unwilling to be hampered in his passions as in his
public life. He was unwilling either to do without Annette or to marry
her at a time that did not suit him. He pretended to consider Annette's
attempt to leave him as a rather degrading manœuvre to attach him to
her. And this although he knew very well what a whole-hearted gift she
had made of herself! She was insulted by the outrageous suspicion--and
she gave herself again with a despairing passion and disgust.
As for himself, he would see nothing of all this. He came back,
demanding his own selfish rights as a lover, never realizing that,
although she consented to them, every one of these carnal victories left
a wound in his partner.
Annette was degraded in her own eyes. She ceased to give herself; she
prostituted herself to love. Unless she flung herself off the slope down
which her mad body was sliding, she was lost. . . .
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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