Bildungsromans; City and town life -- Juvenile fiction; First loves -- Juvenile fiction; Religion -- Philosophy -- Juvenile fiction
"I think--I'm--falling in love."
"Oh, dear," Jane was carefully tranquil.
"I've never really been in love in my life, so I can't be sure. But I
think it's that."
Jane said nothing. The room was getting dark.
"I've never seen any one so pretty in all my life as Miss Mar," said the
young artist, slowly. "You know we're old friends."
"Oh, she's lovely," said Jane, with sudden fervor.
"I thought that we might make up little picnics and walks and things?"
hesitated the young man.
"Of course," said Jane, heartily. "And you can come here all you like.
Auntie likes you both so much."
Lorenzo Rath stood by the door. "Were you ever in love?" he asked
bluntly.
"No," said Jane. "I've never had the least little touch of it."
"Haven't you ever thought about it?"
"No, I've never had time. I've never seen any man that I could or would
marry."
"Never?"
"Never."
"That's too bad," said Lorenzo Rath slowly. "Seems to me you'd make such
a splendid wife."
She laughed a little. Then she had to wink quickly to drive back tears
which leapt suddenly.
"I won't say any more," said Lorenzo. She thought that he did not care
to speak of Madeleine to her.
Then she went. And later she found herself sitting in her own room
again, sitting by the same window, thinking. "Poor Emily Mead and her
illusory millionaire! I'm about as silly as she is," thought Jane. "And
yet I know it's higher and more beautiful to make life lovely for others
than to make it lovely for one's self." She sighed because the
reflection--all altruistic as it was--was not quite the truth, and she
was true enough herself to feel jarred by the slightest cross-shadow of
falsehood. Truth plays as widely and freely as the sunbeams themselves
and goes as straight to the heart of each and all.
Finally she opened a little book and read aloud a few pages to herself
in a low tone. "I know I'm on the right path," she said, when she had
closed the book; "the thing is to stick resolutely to keeping on
straight ahead. And I must be absolutely content with all that comes.
You have to be content if you're going to grow in goodness, for you have
to know that you've been trying and been successful." She sat still a
while longer and then rose with a deep, long breath. "Well, to-day's
been something, and to-morrow I'll be something better, I know."
The truth did shine then, and she went to bed calmed, but was hardly
stretched down between the cool sheets when Susan rapped at the door.
"Come in."
"Oh, Jane, I can't sleep. I've got to thinking of when Matilda comes
back, and I'm scared blue."
CHAPTER VII
A NEW OUTLOOK ON MATILDA
THE next morning Susan looked half-sheepish and half-anxious. "I just
couldn't help it, Jane. I laid in bed so long, thinking, and then it
come over me what life was going to be when she was back and you gone
and--well--I just couldn't help coming. I felt awful."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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