"Advances? Rather not. But if I thought he was thinking things--he isn't,
you know, he's not that sort; still, if I thought it I should have it out
with him."
"How could you have it--'out with him'?"
"Oh I should just ask him what he thought of me; or better still, tell
him what I thought of him."
Miss Quincey shrank visibly from the bold suggestion.
"Would you? Oh, that would never do. You won't mind my saying so, but I
think it would look a little indelicate. Of course it would be very
different if it were a woman; if it were you for instance."
"I should do it any way. It's the straightest thing."
"I daresay, dear, in your friendships it is. But I think you can hardly
judge of this. You do not know Dr. Cautley as I do."
"No," said Rhoda meekly, "perhaps I don't." Not for worlds would she have
destroyed that beautiful illusion.
"It has been," continued Miss Quincey, "a very peculiar, a very
interesting relationship. Strange too--considering. If you had asked me
six months ago I should have told you that the thing was impossible, or
rather, that in nine cases out of ten--I mean I should have said it was
highly improbable that Dr. Cautley would take the faintest interest in
me, let alone like me."
"He does like you, dear Miss Quincey, I know he does."
"How do you know?"
"He told me so." (Miss Quincey quivered and a faint flush worked up
through the sallow of her cheek.) "And I'm sure he would be most
distressed to think you were unhappy."
"It is not unhappiness; certainly not unhappiness. On the contrary I have
been happy, quite happy lately. And I think it has been bad for me. I
wasn't used to it. Perhaps, if it had happened five-and-twenty years
ago--Do not misunderstand me, I am merely speaking of friendship, dear;
but it might--I mean I might--"
Far back in the chair and favoured by Rhoda's silence, Miss Quincey
dropped into a dream. Presently she woke up as it were with a start.
"What am I thinking of? Let us be reasonable; let us reduce it to
figures. Forty-five--thirty--he is thirty. Take twenty-five from thirty
and five remain. Why, Rhoda, he would have been--"
They looked at each other, but neither said: "He would have been five
years old."
Miss Quincey seemed quite prostrated by the result of her calculations.
To everything that Rhoda could urge to soothe her she answered steadily:
"You do not know him as I do."
The voice was not Miss Quincey's voice; it was the monotonous, melancholy
voice of the Fixed Idea.
Her knowledge of him. After all, nothing could take from her the
exquisite privacy of that possession.
* * * * *
"_Eros anikate machan_," said Rhoda.
Miss Quincey was gone and the Classical Mistress was in school again,
coaching a backward student through the "Antigone."
"Oh Love, unconquered in fight. Love who--Love who fliest, who fliest
about among things," said the student. And the teacher laughed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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