British -- France -- Fiction; Diary fiction; Epistolary fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Love stories; Young women -- Fiction
"You don’t see what I mean. If he’s Lord Ruddington, he knows that
you’re Susan, and he can hardly help looking at you, though I must say
he isn’t treating you as he would a lady. But when it’s a case of _you_
looking at him, it’s different. You see, you’re not supposed to have
any idea it’s Lord Ruddington. All you’ve got to go by is ’a dreadful
feeling’--which is nothing at all. So what must he think of you, when
he sees you making eyes at a perfect stranger? He must think you’ve got
glances and blushes for every man who chooses to stare at you."
Susan did not see my point clearly. Indeed, the more I laboured it, the
less clearly I saw it myself. Besides, if this was really and truly
Lord Ruddington, my attempt at crediting him with superfine feelings was
either hypothetical or ludicrous.
"I’m very sorry, Miss," said Susan from the depths of her immeasurable
docility. And then we got through another half-hour of pretending to
look at magazines, while we were cunningly looking at the creature who
was fixedly looking at us.
When it became intolerable, I said to Susan:
"I’m determined not to move. One mustn’t even seem to be beaten by such
rudeness. But do, for goodness’ sake, put it out of your head that it
can possibly be Lord Ruddington. What would Lord Ruddington be doing,
travelling second-class?"
"I suppose, Miss," answered Susan, so promptly that she must have
already thought it out, "he’s come after Me. And he thought we
shouldn’t guess it was him if he rode in the second-class."
I suddenly felt that I had had heaps more than enough of the whole
sordid business. I had felt for an hour that Susan knew a little more
than she cared to admit. Probably she was right, and this was indeed
Lord Ruddington. If so, everything was plain. This coarse-grained young
rake’s desire of Susan’s country freshness and innocence was something
even more detestable than the familiar infatuation of some weedy young
lordling with a dressy and exuberant and altogether outrageous
chorus-girl in town. I felt as if a rosy veil of illusion had been
drawn away from life, and it almost turned me faint and sick. The worst
of the affair was that Susan, with her wholesome instincts, was not
revolted as she ought to have been, even by that which she did not
understand.
"Susan," I said abruptly, "I’m not at all satisfied. You keep talking
about a dreadful feeling, which is all sheer nonsense. I feel perfectly
certain you know something about that man down there that you haven’t
told me."
"The only thing, Miss----"
"Why didn’t you tell me before?"
"I didn’t think there was anything much in it, Miss."
"What? In what?"
"Only that he came out through that little gate when you were
downstairs, Miss, changing the money. It was before they locked the
gate--before the guard looked at the tickets, just after the boat
started."
"What did he say to you?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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