Humorous stories; Newspapers -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Elijah says as John Bunyan made them all feel pretty cheap down at the
printin' press this mornin'," Miss Clegg went on: "seems the whole
community was squeezin' into the back of Mr. Kimball's store to see what
under the sun could be done to get the first paper out of the press,
when all of a sudden John Bunyan spoke up an' asked why they did n't
turn the handle backward an' empty the whole muss out that way. Well,
every one see the sense of what he said right off, an' so they began,
an' as soon as they began to turn the crank backward the paper began to
come out backward, tore, of course, but as nice as pie.
"Well, Elijah says he most thought his uncle was goin' to take his job
as editor away and give it to John Bunyan right off, he was so pleased.
But Mr. Kimball ain't the sort of uncle as Elijah so far supposes
himself to of got, an' he only give John Bunyan fifty cents' worth of
soda water tickets, an' they're to work to-night (if Lucy'll let Hiram),
an' have the paper ready for church to-morrow. The Jilkins an' Sperrits
was a little disapp'inted 'cause they was n't comin' in to church,
countin' on stayin' home an' readin' the paper all day instead, but
Elijah's goin' to put in a late column of late news an' give 'em their
money's worth that way. Mr. Kimball had arranged to have one whole
column of Ks to draw attention to his dried apples, an' he's goin' to
give it up for the occasion an' let Elijah write a Extra about the cause
of the delay, for that's really all the late news there is. Then, too,
Elijah's goin' to have a joke about the paper's comin' in among us like
a man goes into politics, kind of slidin' an' turnin' this way an'
that, an' I must say I begin to find some of Elijah's ideas pretty
bright. But my mind's taken a new turn on his subjeck from what he said
at dinner, an' I will admit, Mrs. Lathrop, as I see now as I misjudged
him in one way, for he come an' asked me while I was washin' up if I
knowed any way to open a locked box without a key, for he could n't find
the key to his flute box nowhere, an' when he was a little nervous
nights he always wore it off practisin' on his flute. Well, Mrs.
Lathrop, you can maybe imagine as learnin' as there was a flute in that
box an' the key lost, an' him in the habit of playin' that flute nights,
altered my views more 'n a little, an' I can tell you that I had to
think pretty fast afore answerin' him. While I was thinkin' he said he
had n't played since he was here, an' he was gettin' so wild to play he
thought the best way would be to maybe pry the lock open. I see then as
I'd got to come out firm an' I said I'd never consent to no young man
in my house, spoilin' a good box like that an' maybe a fine flute too,
just because he had n't got a little patience. He said I was right about
its being a fine flute, an' he was just achin' to hear it an' blow it. I
told him to let me hunt an' maybe I'd find the key, an' so he went off
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account