Humorous stories; Newspapers -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Well, I guess maybe he heard things yesterday as made him feel as it'd
be just as well to let folks have time to sizzle down some afore they
looked on his bright an' shinin' face again. I tell you what, Mrs.
Lathrop, I can see as runnin' a newspaper ain't an easy thing an' the
town is really so up in arms to-day, that I really would of made waffles
for Elijah to eat instead of just plain cakes, if I'd knowed when he got
up how mad every one was at him. I can see since I've been down town
to-day as the square was n't likely to have been no bed of roses for him
yesterday. The whole community is mad as hornets over the paper. Why, I
never see folks so mad over nothin' before. Nobody likes his puttin' his
own name right under the paper's, an' Dr. Brown says the editor belongs
on the inside, anyhow. Dr. Brown's most _awful_ mad 'cause Elijah's put
his item right in with the advertisement of Lydia Finkham, an' he says
he ain't nothin' as pretends to cure anythin' or everybody. He says he's
a regular doctor as you have to take regular chances with an' he feels
like suin' Elijah for slander. Gran'ma Mullins is mad, too, 'cause she
was put in the personals an' Elijah went an' called her the 'Nestor of
the crick,' without never so much as askin' by her leave. She says she
ain't never done nothin' with the crick, an' if she ever nested anywhere
it was in her own owned an' mortgaged house. Hiram says he'll punch
Elijah if he ever refers to his mother's nestin' again, an' I guess
Hiram feels kind of sore over Elijah's talkin' of his mother's nestin'
when all the town knows how much he wishes as Lucy'd settle down and
nest awhile instead of keepin' 'em all so everlastin'ly churned up. Mrs.
Macy told me this mornin' as Lucy's whitewashin' the garret this week;
she see the brush goin' 'round an' 'round the window on her side--she
says it makes her bones ache just to live next door to Lucy's ways. She
says they're so different from Gran'ma Mullins' ways. Gran'ma Mullins
had n't had no whitewashin' done in twenty years--not since she rented
the cottage of father. That's true an' I know it's true too because
she's been askin' an' askin' me to have it done an' I said not by no
means--so she's left off."
"Did--?" asked Mrs. Lathrop.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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