Humorous stories; Newspapers -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"I don't believe it," said Miss Clegg; "I know the way you look at it,
Mrs. Lathrop, but _I_ don't believe it. All the girls is after him but
that ain't surprisin' for girls are made to be after somethin' at that
age an' there's almost nothin' for them to run down in this community.
We're very short of men to marry, Mrs. Lathrop, an' what men we have got
ain't tall enough yet to do it, but still, it ain't no reason why Elijah
should be in love just because 'Liza Em'ly and all the other girls is
in love with him. To my order o' thinkin' two sets of people have got to
love to make a marriage, an' 'Liza Em'ly ain't but one. An' I don't know
as I want Elijah to be in love, anyhow--not while he lives in my house.
It might lead to his eatin' less but it would surely lead to his playin'
the flute more, an' that flute is all I can stand now. He won't marry if
I can help it, I know _that_, an' I keep his eagerness down by talkin'
to him about Hiram Mullins all I can, an' surely Hiram is enough to keep
any man from soarin' into marriage if he can just manage to hop along
single an' in peace."
"Have you--" asked Mrs. Lathrop, interestedly.
"Well, I should say I had--an' it's fresh on my mind, too. It was
yesterday an' I see 'em both. Lucy come in the mornin' an' Gran'ma
Mullins in the afternoon. I'd like to of had Hiram come in the evenin'
an' tell his end, but Hiram don't dare say a word to no man nowadays.
As far as my observation's extended a man as lives steady with two women
gets very meek as to even men. Hiram's learned as his long suit is to
keep still an' saw wood when he ain't choppin' it."
"What did--" asked Mrs. Lathrop.
"Well, Lucy come up right after market an' she said the reason she come
was because she'd just got to talk or bu'st, an' she was n't anxious to
bu'st yet awhile."
"What--" asked Mrs. Lathrop.
"Oh, just the usual tale as any one could o' foreseen if they went an'
married Hiram Mullins. Any one might of easy knowed as Lucy Dill could
n't no more enjoy Hiram Mullins than a cat could enjoy swimmin' lessons,
but she _would_ have him, an' she _had_ to have him, an' now she's got
him--so help her eternity to come."
"Did she--" questioned Mrs. Lathrop.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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