Humorous stories; Newspapers -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Dr. Brown run for the fire engine then an' every one was at home
gettin' ready for the picnic an' there wa'n't no one down town a _tall_.
He was all of ten minutes findin' any one an' when he found him it was
only Mr. Shores, an' Mrs. Brown says as gettin' out a fire engine with
Mr. Shores an' your house burnin' is suthin' as she trusts will never be
her lot again. She says Mr. Shores would n't lay hold o' the engine till
after the cover was folded up neatly an' then he wanted to dust the
wheels afore runnin' it out. Then after it was run out an' got to the
house, if there wa'n't no hose, an' Dr. Brown had to run away back to
the engine house for the hose an' while he was runnin' he met John
Bunyan runnin' too an' John Bunyan told him as the hose was kept coiled
up in the part as sticks up behind the engine like a can. So they run
back together an' got it out an' run with it to the well an' Dr. Brown
was so excited he dropped the hose in the well. Mrs. Brown says she was
nigh too mad by this time with the house explodin' all over again every
few minutes an' things as you never have around comin' sailin' out o'
the windows right in people's faces when they was only there to be
neighborly an' look on. She was runnin' back an' forth an' explainin' as
it was n't for want o' stirrin', for she stirred it herself, when Sam
Duruy come runnin' an' seems there's always another hose tied up under
the engine an' he unhooked that an' John Bunyan built a fire in the hole
for fire while they fixed the new hose in the cistern, but oh my, the
house was too far gone to be saved by that time. So they pumped some on
Amelia just to try the hose, an' then they helped pick up the things as
was blowed out of the windows. Mrs. Brown says it was all most awful an'
she knows from her son's face as he thinks it was all because she
stopped stirrin' sometimes durin' the two hours an' she declares with
tears as she never stopped stirrin' once--not _once_.
"Mrs. Fisher says the way people is sick from the smell shows as all the
flies they put in the rooms must of surely been killed, so the
experiment's a success in one way at least. Mrs. Fisher walked part way
home with me an' we had a nice talk about the Browns. She says the
Browns is most amusin' always in the ways they use flies; she says when
young Dr. Brown was little, Mrs. Brown used to put a fly in the
sugar-box when she went down to the square for things so she could tell
when she come back whether he'd been at the sugar, an' so let the fly
out. She says young Dr. Brown cured her o' that happy thought by takin'
the fly out himself when she was down town one time an' puttin' a mad
bee in instead. She says she guesses Dr. Brown has given her many a
little lesson like that or he'd never be able to keep her stirrin'
anythin' as smells for two hours."
"Where--" asked Mrs. Lathrop.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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