Humorous stories; Newspapers -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Well, the Fitches took Amelia an' her husband of course an' Mrs. Brown
is goin' over to Meadville to-morrow. Mrs. Macy says maybe old Dr.
Carter will marry her now as she ain't got any house to be attached to.
I don't see why that would n't be a good end for Mrs. Brown, she can
step right into Mrs. Carter's shoes--an' her clothes, too, for that
matter, for he never give away a thing when she died. Yes, he did, too,
though, she wanted her nieces to have a souvenir an' he give one the
waist an' the other the skirt to the same dress, but Mrs. Fisher says
what he would n't give away to no man for love or money was all her
union underwear for winter. Seems she always wore the best an' finest,
an' when she died Dr. Carter said he'd keep all them union suits an'
wear 'em out himself."
"I--" said Mrs. Lathrop.
"No, an' I would n't either," said Miss Clegg; "there would n't be no
comfort marryin' a man whose first wife could n't call even her union
suits her own after she died, not to my order of thinkin'."
"Was--" asked her friend.
"Oh, the picnic?" said Susan, "no, that was n't a success a _tall_. They
spread the tablecloth over a flyin' ant nest in the first place an' Mrs.
Macy says shad bones is nothin' to the pickin' out as they had to do
while eatin' as a consequence. She says they very soon found out as they
was under a wood-tick tree too, an' the children run into a burr-patch
after dinner. The minister tried to teach the twins to fish an' the bank
caved in with 'em all three, an' the minister had to go all the way home
that way. Gran'ma Mullins got a gnat in her eye an' Hiram walked way
back to town for a flaxseed to put in it to get the gnat out, an'
crossin' the bridge he sneezed an' the flaxseed just disappeared
completely, an' Lucy would n't let him go back again, so all she could
do was to keep a-rubbin' till finally she rubbed it out. Mr. Dill
climbed up a tree to show as he could still climb up a tree an' a branch
broke an' tore him so bad he had to walk home with the minister,--I
guess every one's glad the Fourth's over."
"How's--" asked Mrs. Lathrop.
"Elijah? Oh, he went to town for the day. He says it's him for town when
there 's anythin' goin' on in the country. He come back lookin' like
he'd really enjoyed himself, but I was afraid he was goin' to have a
fever at first he talked so queer in his sleep that night an' began all
his sentences with 'Here's to--' an' then stopped in a most curious way.
I was very much relieved when I see him come downstairs the next
mornin', only his appetite ain't what it was yet."
"May--" suggested Mrs. Lathrop.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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