Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"However, now 's all is made clear I will go on 'n' tell you what's on
my mind. I'd be a fool not to tell you, havin' got you over here just
for the purpose o' bein' told, 'n' yet I've sat here a good hour--'n'
you know I ain't over-give to sittin', Mrs. Lathrop--tryin' to decide
whether after all I would tell you or not. You see this subjeck isn't
nowise new to me, but it'll be new to you, 'n' bein' new to you I
can't see how anythin' 's goin' to be got out o' askin' you f'r
advice. It ain't likely 't any one first go-off c'n think of things 't
I ain't thought of already, 'n' you know yourself, Mrs. Lathrop, how
little you ever have to say to me compared to what I say to you.
Besides, 's far's my observation 's extended no one don't ask f'r
advice 'nless they've pretty well made up their mind not to take it,
if so be 's it suits 'em better untook, 'n' when I make up my mind I'm
goin' to do a thing anyhow so there ain't much use in me askin' you 'r
anybody else what they think about it. A woman 's rich 's I be don't
need to take no one else's say-so nohow--not 'nless she feels so
inclined, 'n' the older I get the less I incline."
Mrs. Lathrop sighed slightly, but did not alter her position by a
hair. Susan whirled her stocking, took a fresh breath, and went on:
"It's a subjeck 't I've been lookin' straight in the face, 's well 's
upside down 'n' hind end to, f'r a good long time. I 'xpeck 't it'll
mebbe come in the nature of a surprise to the c'mmunity in general,
'n' yet, to tell you the truth, Mrs. Lathrop, I was thinkin' o' this
very thing away back las' spring when Mrs. Shores eloped. I was even
thinkin' of it that very minute, f'r I was one o' them 's was in the
square when Johnny come runnin' from the station with the telegram.
Everybody 's see Johnny's face thought 's two trains had smashed on
his a'count somewhere, 'n' I recolleck Mr. Kimball's sayin' 's he
couldn't 'a' looked more miserable 'f he'd been the man 's had run
away with her. It was too bad you wasn't there, Mrs. Lathrop,--Mrs.
Macy always says 't she'll regret to her dyin' day 's she thought o'
comin' to town that mornin' to get the right time f'r her clock 'n'
then decided to wait 'n' set it by the whistle. Gran'ma Mullins was
there--she was _almost_ in front o' Mr. Shores' store. I've heard her
say a hunderd times 't, give her three seconds more, 'n' she'd 'a'
been right in front; but she was takin' her time, 'n' so she jus'
missed seein' Johnny hand in the telegram. I was standin' back to the
band-stand, tellin' Mrs. Allen my receipt for cabbage pickle, so I
never felt to blame myself none f'r not gettin' nearer quicker. The
first thing I recolleck was I says, ''N' then boil the vinegar again,'
'n' Mrs. Allen give a scream 'n' run. Then I turned 'n' see every one
runnin', 'n' Mr. Shores in the lead. They do say 's he was so crazy 't
first 't he seemed to think he c'd catch the Knoxville Express by
tearin' across the square. But he give out afore he reached Judge
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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