Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop — John Shaqi
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"I see Mrs. Macy first, 'n' she told me all as to how it happened. She
says you turned two back somersaults 'n' just missed squashin' the
cat, 'n' 't young Dr. Brown told her 't if he hadn't been so busy
plantin' his garden to-day he certainly would 'a' felt 't it 'd 'a'
been nothin' but right to diagnose you all over. Mrs. Macy says she
ain't none too over-pleased 't the way he spoke, for, to her order o'
thinkin', you had a pretty serious kick 'n' you'd ought to realize it.
She wanted me to ask you 'f he had you hang to the head-board while he
give your leg a good hard jerk, 'cause she says 't that's the only
real safe way to make all the bones come back into place; she says 'f
you ain't shattered you're bound to come straight pervided the doctor
jerks hard enough. She says they did her lame leg that way over thirty
years ago, 'n' she says 't, sittin' down 'n' side by side, she'd bet
anything 't the minister 'n' all the deacons couldn't pick out one
from t' other. She says all her trouble comes when she walks. Nights
'n' rockin' she'd never know she was lame herself."
Mrs. Lathrop looked slightly distressed.
"Gran'ma Mullins come up while we was talkin', 'n' she's terrible
upset over you. She never had no lameness, she says; her trouble 's
all in her ribs,--them ribs 't go from under your arms down. But she
wants to know if you was put in plaster, 'n' she said f'r me to ask
right off."
"Yes; I--" replied Mrs. Lathrop.
"Oh!" Susan's face darkened. "I declare, that's too bad. 'N' young Dr.
Brown 's gone now too. I see him 'n' Amelia drivin' out towards the
Sperrits' while I was in the square. Well, if it's on, it's on, 'n'
the Lord be with you, Mrs. Lathrop, f'r 'f Gran'ma Mullins says truth,
no one else c'n help you now. You see, she told Mrs. Macy 'n' me what
plaster is. It's eatin', that's what it is. Plaster 'll eat anythin'
right up, hide, hair, 'n' all. She says don't you know how, when you
smell a dead rat in the wall, you throw some plaster in on him, 'n'
after a while you don't smell no more rat 'cause there ain't no more
rat there to smell; the plaster 's eat him all up. She says you may
laugh 'f you feel so inclined, but there ain't no such big difference
between your leg 'n' a dead rat but what it'll pay you to mark her
words. She says 'f it don't do no more 'n eat the skin off it'll still
be pretty hard for you to lay there without no skin 'n' feel the
plaster goin' in more 'n' more. She says 't we all wish him well, 'n'
yet no one in their right mind c'n deny as young Dr. Brown is n't old
Dr. Carter, 'n' no amount o' well wishin' c'n ever make him so. She
says 'f she was you she 'd never rest till old Dr. Carter 'd looked
into that leg, f'r a leg is a leg, 'n' it says in the Bible 't if you
lose your salt what 'll you salt with."
Mrs. Lathrop's distress deepened visibly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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