Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Young Dr. Brown 's awful anxious for some fresh cotton 'n' old Dr.
Carter to get here from Meadville. He says he wants to dress Henry
Ward Beecher's ear 'f anybody c'n ever catch Henry Ward Beecher. 'Liza
Em'ly 's goin' around huggin' herself 'n' groanin' to beat the band,
but young Dr. Brown says he can't do nothin' for her because there
ain't no way to get in behind a rib 'n' pry it out to place again. I
guess the truth o' the matter is 't he 's jus' plum tired out piecin'
'n' mendin'. It's been a big job sewin' up after Jathrop's cow tore
round like that. They say 's he had all of a foot to over-'n'-over
along Mr. Fisher, 'n' Mr. Jilkins is jus' tufted like a sofa where he
stopped up where he was skewered. Mrs. Jilkins is pretty hot yet over
the parasol's bein' bust 'cause she 'd wrote her niece 's she was
goin' to give it to her 'n' her niece 's bought a hat with yellow
buttercups 'n' green leaves jus' to match it. But I'll tell you who's
in a sad way,--it 's poor Gran'ma Mullins. From the first second 's
they got her right end up again she begin to ask suthin', 'n' on
a'count o' her teeth bein' gone no one could make out what it was.
Hiram didn't get no sleep all night with her sighin' 'n' mumblin', 'n'
towards mornin' he made out 's she was wantin' to know 'f Mr. Kimball
'd replace them cups 's the cow smashed. Hiram went right after
breakfast 'n' asked, 'n' Mr. Kimball said not on Hiram's tin-type he
wouldn't. He said Gran'ma Mullins was carryin' 'em herself sooner 'n
trust Ed, 'n' he wa'n't to blame f'r such wild animals 's might
naturally fancy takin' after her. They tried to console her by lettin'
her see her teeth get put in a mustard box to go to the city to be
mended, but the worst of it is 's two of the teeth can't be found in
the square, 'n' Deacon White thinks he swallowed 'em when he laid
there gaspin' so wide open. He says he never knowed such queer
feelin's 's he had las' night. Mrs. Fisher was there, 'n' she said 'f
Deacon White was bothered 's to how to act with them teeth he only
needed to go 'n' consult Mr. Fisher 'cause there 's nothin' in the
wide world 's Mr. Fisher ain't sure 't he knows more about 'n any one
else. She says Mr. Fisher ain't a bit suited 't the way young Dr.
Brown brought his edges together, 'n' she says he says 't jus' as soon
's he ain't so stiff 'n' sore about leanin' over he 's goin' to take
all them stitches out 'n' sew himself up the way 't he 'd ought to be
sewed."
Mrs. Lathrop turned a little in bed. Again the cracking noise might be
heard, but neither one of the friends had mental leisure to notice it.
"Mr. Weskin stopped me on my way home," Susan continued, "'n' asked me
what steps you was intendin' to take in regard to the lawsuits for
damages--"
"Damages!" cried Mrs. Lathrop in great fright.
"Yes, your cow's damages."
"_My_ cow! I did n't have nothin' to do with her except get kicked
by--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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