Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"I know, but Mr. Weskin explained all that to me. Jathrop 's gone
nobody knows where, 'n' so you come next. 'F he's proved dead leavin'
property it 'd be yours, 'n' if he leaves damage-suits you inherit 'em
jus' the same."
"My heavens!"
"Mr. Weskin says that's how it is, 'n' he mus' know. I 've always had
a great respeck for what Mr. Weskin knows ever since he went into
court 'n' proved 's the mill 's the other side o' the crick from where
it is, jus' by havin' Hiram Mullins 'n' Sam Duruy stand up 'n' swear
the mill-race run 'round behind it. I never could see how he done it,
but I never felt to blame myself none f'r that, 'cause it takes
another lawyer to see what a lawyer 's doin' anyhow. When a lawyer
says anythin' 's so to me, I never take no time to disbelieve him
'cause 'f he wa'n't able to prove the truth o' his own lyin' he 'd
never get to be in the law a _tall_. On the other hand, though, I
don't trust him none, even if I ain't a mite o' doubt as to what he
says. Believin' is cheap, you c'n believe the whole Bible 'n' it won't
cost a cent 'n' is suthin' to your credit; but trustin' live folks is
always expensive. 'F Lawyer Weskin says 's you c'n be sued, you 're
pretty safe to feel it's so--the more so 's it was him 's sent
Jathrop off so slick. But I ain't so sure 't I 'd sit down 'n' let him
sue me 'f I was you. He c'n sue, from now on, but it's for you to
c'nsider whether he gets anythin' but fun out o' it or not. 'F you 're
willin' to be sued, it's ownin' you know you 've done suthin', 'n' you
ain't done nothin'--it was the cow's did it to you. There ain't
nothin' to be gained f'r even the wicked by ownin' up to bein' wicked
in court, 'n' they often get off by ownin' up to bein' innocent. You
can't never lose nothin' by swearin' 's it wa'n't you, 'n' 's far as
my observation 's extended, a person 's starts out by tryin' to be
honest 'n' sayin', 'Yes, I done it,' soon finds themselves with the
whole neighborhood laid at their door 'n' never no thanks for it,
neither.
"Mr. Weskin says 't Deacon White says 't some one 's got to pay him
f'r happenin' to swallow Gran'ma Mullins' teeth when he wa'n't
thinkin'. Well, 'f he's got a right to anythin', pretty nigh all the
c'mmunity 's got a equal right. There 's Mr. Fisher with a slice out
o' his side, 'n' them nine teacups o' Gran'ma Mullins'. There 's Mr.
Jilkins goin' to set a price for every parasol punch he got, 'n' Mrs.
Jilkins goin' to want a new parasol.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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