Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"'N' then it 'd be jus' like young Dr. Brown to perk up 'n' send you a
bill, instid o' bein' everlastin'ly grateful for all the teachin' he
owes straight to you. He's had a chance to perform 'most every kind o'
operation 'n' to use up the last drop o' all his old liniments jus' as
a result o' that one cow. Then too he's had a chance to call old Dr.
Carter over in consultation, 'n' in the ordinary run o' things he
could n't o' 'xpected to have nothin' to consult about f'r years 'n'
years. He's a made young man 'n' all in one night, jus' owin' to you,
'n' the last time he whipped his horse through the square to-day, Mr.
Kimball said he looked so busy 't he supposed they 'd elect him our
next mayor.
"You was n't responsible f'r the cow's gettin', 'n' Jathrop was. It's
Jathrop 's is to blame, 'n' if any one's to be sued it 'd ought to be
him, 'n' he ain't got no property but the cow, 'n' she's hung up dead
'n' her own damage, so it's no use sum' him f'r anythin'. Folks 's
ain't got nothin' don't never have any law troubles, 'n' Jathrop is
gone off 'n' so he 's specially handy to blame for everythin'. 'S far
's my observation 's 'xtended, it 's always folks a long ways off 's
it's wisest to lay all the faults to, 'n' 'f I was you--"
Mrs. Lathrop's eyes suddenly started out of her head.
"I can't feel my leg!" she cried.
Susan sprang to her feet.
"It's the plaster!" she exclaimed; then, starting towards the door, "I
'll run 'n' get the axe 'n' hack you right out."
"No--no," screamed Mrs. Lathrop, "not the axe."
"Then I 'll bring up the teakettle 'n' pour boilin' water on it till
it softens 'n' comes off."
"No, I don't want--"
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop,"--Susan looked her disapproval,--"seems to me you
're jus' a little fussy. I must say if you ain't willin' to have it
broke off or soaked off, I can't well see how it's goin' to be got
off."
Mrs. Lathrop bunched herself somewhat, and a grating and powdering
noise resulted.
"I drew it right up!" she cried joyfully.
Susan's expression became enigmatic.
Mrs. Lathrop manoeuvred further.
"I straightened it out!" she announced further.
Miss Clegg approached the bed.
"I don't believe 's it was ever broke," she said in deep disgust.
"Dr. Brown said he wa'n't sure," the invalid continued, elongating and
contracting herself, caterpillar-like,' "he said 's he 'd wait the
windin'--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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