Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
a-promenadin' on the railway track?' I says. He begin to tell 's how,
even dead, the rooster was worth more 'n ten cents. 'I d'n' know about
that,' I says, 'it don't strike me 's noways likely 't when he
suddenly observes the engine 'most on top o' him, he's goin' to take
the time 'n' trouble to lay his head square 'n' even across the rail,
'n' you know 's well 's I do 't no rooster killed cornerways ain't
never goin' to bring no nickel apiece for his corners. No, Mister Sam
Duruy,' I says, 'your lively horse's taught me a lesson,' I says, ''n'
hereafter I don't lend no money on so much 's a egg without I see a
good curb-bit bought 'n' put in its mouth first,' I says; 'n' then I
walked off, 'n' the end o' it all is 't if Cousin Marion's poor I
certainly ain't very wild to have her find out 's I'm rich.
"But then, I ain't very anxious to have her rich either, I must say,
for it don't take no blind man to figger out 't if she 's rich the
money 'd ought to 'a' been mine. 'N' that 's a awful feelin', Mrs.
Lathrop,--the feelin' 's other folks 's rich on money 's 'd ought to
'a' been yours. I ain't sure 's I want to know Cousin Marion 'f such
's the facts o' her case, 'n' 's between her bein' poor 'n' wantin'
money o' me, 'n' her bein' rich on money right out o' my pocket, I
feel like I mebbe clum that ladder this mornin' in a evil hour f'r my
future peace o' mind.
"'N' then, too, 'f she 's rich I certainly can't go to see her without
I buy me a new bonnet. 'F she 's rich, o' course I want her to see
right off 's I 'm rich too, 'n' bein' 's we 're old friends 'n' alone
here together, I c'n truthfully state 's she could n't in reason
mistrust no such thing from my bonnet. It 's a good bonnet, 'n' it's
been a good bonnet year in 'n' year out 'n' in rain 'n' shine turn an'
turn about, but I never was give to deceivin' myself no more nor a
outsider, 'n' so I will frankly say 't it 's long past its first
shininess. Miss White 's freshened it up two times for me, 'n' I
always have new ribbons to tie it every other Easter, but still, in
the box or out o' the box, its day is past for lookin' brand-new, 'n'
I don't deny the truth 's a more foolish woman might feel some
inclined to do. So, such bein' the case, Cousin Marion 'n' a new
bonnet comes to one 'n' the same thing, 'n' I can't say 's
bonnet-buyin' 's a way o' spendin' money 's is over-agreeable to me.
However, 'f it is to be it is to be, 'n' I sha'n't cry over nothin'. I
'll buy the bonnet, 'n' I guess 'f she talks to me about her money I
c'n come out right quick 'n' sharp 'n' talk about mine. 'N' I guess I
c'n talk her down--I 'll try good 'n' hard, I know _that_. 'N' 'f she
sh'd put me beyond all patience, I 'll jus' make no bones about it,
but get right up 'n' smash her flat with her own letter o' fifty years
ago. I don't believe nobody c'd put on airs in the face o' their own
name signed to bein' saved from want by the kind, graspin' hand o' my
dead 'n' gone father."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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