Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"The difficulty o' all things in this world," Miss Clegg went on
promptly, "is 't if you have any brains a _tall_ you 're bound to have
so much work for 'em. Now, this findin' o' Cousin Marion no doubt
looks simple enough to you 'n' the world in general, 'n' yet the more
I turn her up 'n' down 'n' inside out the more new lights I get. When
you come to consider 't I only found the letter this mornin', 'n' that
it ain't supper-time yet, you c'n easy see 's my day's been more 'n
full o' brain-work. Comin' up the street this afternoon, the question
o' the possibility o' Cousin Marion's bein' poor come into my mind. I
c'n speak out freely to you, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' so I will remark 't I
c'n guarantee 's father never give her nothin' o' late years, 'n' 'f
she's poor it don't take no eagle eye to know jus' what'll happen when
she gets my letter. 'F the letter hadn't been posted 'n' the sack gone
to the train afore I thought o' this view o' the matter, I'm free to
confess 's I never would 'a' posted it a _tall_. For there's no use
denyin', Mrs. Lathrop, 't, 'f my visit to Cousin Marion sh'd lead to
her askin' to borrow 's much 's a quarter, I sh'll bitterly regret
ever havin' clawed her out from back o' that trunk-flap. There ain't
no possible good 's c'n ever come o' lendin' money to them's ain't
able to pay it back, 'n' I learned that lesson to my bitter cost once
'n' for all time when I had that little business with Sam Duruy. That
took all the likin' to lend out o' me, 'n' Heaven help me 'f I ever
forget it. I thought I was so safe, Mrs. Lathrop,--I looked in all
four o' his hoofs, 'n' swished my handkerchief in each o' his eyes,
'n' he was certainly lively, so I planked down my little five dollars
'n' Sam was to keep on drivin' the horse. Well, you know 's well 's I
do what happened, 'n' the skin brought seventy-five cents. Sam sued
the railroad, 'n' the railroad asked why he did n't read the 'Look out
for the Locomotive.' I told him to go into court 'n' swear 's he could
n't read, but he said Judge Fitch used to be his school-teacher 'n'
knowed 's he could. 'N' then I offered to go to court myself 'n' swear
on the Bible 's the whole town looked on him 's more 'n half a idiot,
'n' Mr. Duruy jus' sat right flat down on the whole thing. So they did
n't even pay his lawyer, 'n' it goes without sayin' 't o' course he
could n't pay me; 'n' then, do you know, Mrs. Lathrop, 'f he did n't
have the impudence this very afternoon to stop me down in the square
'n' ask me 'f I would n't lend him ten cents on a rooster! I was
pretty nigh to put out over that, I c'n assure you. I mus' 'a' stared
at him f'r 's much 's ten seconds afore I sensed 't he was really fool
enough to think 't mebbe I was fool enough too. 'N' then I let out at
him. 'Not while I have the breath o' life in my body,' I says,--'n' it
shook 's I said it,--'not 'f I know my own mind. What's to guarantee
me,' I says, ''s your rooster won't take it into his head to go
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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