Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"I 'm sittin' there already," said the caller, "'n' whenever you get
ready to listen I 'll tell you about this afternoon, for it was the
most interestin' meetin' 't we've had since Mrs. Jewett's leg come off
to her chair 'n' she run the crochet-hook so far in--you
recollec'?--'n' the doctors didn't know which way to pull it out.
Young Dr. Brown was for pushin' it on through 'cause the hook would
catch 'f he drawed it out on the crochet principle, 'n' old Dr. Carter
said it wouldn't do to put it through 'cause it was a fancy Chinese
thing 't old Captain Jewett's father brought from China 'n' there was
a man's head on the other end with his mustache makin' two
crochet-hooks, one each side."
"What did--" said Mrs. Lathrop.
"Don't you remember?--Mrs. Jewett come to 'n' told 'em 't the middle
was for needles 'n' 't all they had to do was to unscrew it 'n' take
it out opposite ways, 'n' then she fainted, 'n' then they did, 'n' no
one thought of there bein' needles in it, 'n' they fell out 'n' she
had shootin' pains from havin' 'em in her for ever so long. Mrs. Macy
was sayin' only the other day 't to her order o' thinkin' Mrs. Jewett
died o' the darnin'-needles. She says she was forever grabbin' herself
somewhere with a sudden yell, 'n' no matter what the doctors said it
was jus' them needles, 'n' no sensible person 's saw her actions could
doubt it. Mrs. Macy says it was a awful lesson to her against keepin'
loose needles in screw things,--she says 't her son sent her a egg
from the World's Fair with every kind of needle in it, but she wasn't
takin' no chances, 'n' she took them needles right out 'n' put buttons
in instead."
"I remember she died," said Mrs. Lathrop thoughtfully, "but I--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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