Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"It don't matter," said Susan. "My, but it's hot! It's been awful hot
this week, 'n' this afternoon it was all but bilin' down there in that
little parlor o' Mrs. Craig's. I was f'r sittin' on the porch, but
Gran'ma Mullins rocked off a porch once 'n' she was f'r sittin' where
she couldn't rock off nothin'. I said she could sit on the grass, but
she was fussy about that too--said a poison-spider bit her foot once
'n' she had it come on reg'lar every year f'r seven years after. I
come nigh to feelin' put out, but Mrs. Sperrit spoke up just then 'n'
asked 'f we'd any of us noticed how terrible worn the minister's wife
was lookin' 'n' didn't we think 't he'd ought to have a vacation? It
was that 't made the meetin' so interesting f'r in all the years 't
we've had the minister no one ever thought o' givin' him a vacation
afore, 'n' when you think how long we've had him 'n' how steady we've
gone to church as a consequence, I must say 't I think 't it's more 'n
surprisin' 't we didn't give him a vacation long ago. I must say,
though, 't my first idea was 't it was a curious thing to give the
minister a vacation so as to rest his wife, although I d'n' know 's we
could do any thin' kinder for her 'n to get rid of him f'r a spell.
Then too, to my order o' thinkin', our minister ain't really ever in
need o' no rest, and 'f he needs a change my say would be 'Set him to
work.' I said all that to 'em all down there, 'n' Mrs. Sperrit went on
then 'n' said 't her idea was f'r 'em both to go, so 's we could all
sort o' take a breathin' space together. I agreed with her about the
breathin,' f'r I don't believe no other minister 'n ours ever had
thirteen children born in the same house, 'n' I'm free to remark 't if
a new minister did n't always sit so solid for new wall-paper 'n' the
cistern cleaned out, I'm pretty sure 't the last half-dozen childern
'n' his second wife would certainly have found themselves bein' born
elsewhere. 'N', such bein' the case, I don't blame no man f'r wantin'
a little free time, 'n' so I joined in, 'n' Mrs. Allen moved 't we all
unbutton our collars 'n' discuss the matter, 'n' Gran'ma Mullins took
off her cap 'n' we begun right then 'n' there. Mrs. Brown said 't if
they was a-goin' now was a very good time 'cause the baby was a year
old, 'n' I said 't I c'd agree with her there 'cause if we waited till
next summer the baby might be only a month old or maybe only a week
old--f'r I must say 't so far 's my observation 's extended there
never is no countin' on how old a minister's baby 's goin' be 't any
given time. Gran'ma Mullins interrupted me 'n' said 't if we'd excuse
her she'd go below her collar 'n' unbutton her top button 'cause her
cousin bought it ready-made 'n' all she could tell the clerk was 't
she was seventy-three years old 'n' so perhaps it was only natural 't
it should bind a little in the neck. 'N' so she did, 'n' then she
moved her head around till she was sure she was all free 'n' then she
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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