Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"No, I don't believe so," said Miss Clegg. "My goodness, suppose he did
and hit something like they did! No, I hope he won't ever think of it,
and as for 'Liza Em'ly, I hope she'll remember her married father and
mother soon and remember her quiet and loving home, too, before she gets
in the habit of having parties like that very often. My gracious, think
of going to call on a girl as you see christened and having a snake-lady
gartering her way up your leg while you were trying to say good-by and
get away alive. Mrs. Macy says the creature was diving here and
wriggling there and slipping under tables and over chairs in a way as
made your flesh go creeping right after her. Well, it's clear 'Liza
Em'ly's started on a most singular career. Mrs. Macy says first they
give her a sandwich with a bow of ribbon on it, and she swallowed the
ribbon; and then they give her a piece out of a cake that they said had
a lucky quarter in it, and she's almost sure she swallowed the quarter,
so maybe she was prejudiced."
"Well, I--" began Mrs. Lathrop.
"They felt the same way," said Miss Clegg; "they've come home very much
used up. Mrs. Macy says you can talk to her about the days of ancient
Rome and the way folks act underground in Paris, but she says she knows
positively as what she and Mrs. Fisher saw with their own eyes in 'Liza
Em'ly's sitting-room beat all those kind of little circuses hollow. Mrs.
Macy says she's seen enough of what they call high life now to last her
till she dies of shame. She says the only bright spot in the whole thing
is as 'Liza Em'ly's nose isn't anywhere near as prominent as you'd think
any more, and she's got a automobile and is going to Europe when the
book goes into its fiftieth edition."
"Well--I--" mused Mrs. Lathrop.
"Yes, and I will, too," said Miss Clegg. "I'll go straight home and do
it. I'm awful tired. And it bothers me more than I like to own not
knowing who Deacon Tooker is. You know my nature, Mrs. Lathrop, and
although I was never one to try to find out things nor to talk about 'em
after I've managed to find 'em out, still I never was one to like not to
know things, and I must say I do want to know who Deacon Tooker is.
Well, they say all things comes to him who waits, so I think I won't
stop here any longer. Good-by, and when I do find out, you can count on
my coming right over to tell you."
"Goo--" began Mrs. Lathrop.
But Miss Clegg had shut the door after her.
V
SUSAN CLEGG'S "IMPROVEMENTS"
There was nothing small or mean or economical about Jathrop Lathrop, now
that he had turned out rich. He was the soul of generosity, the epitome
of liberality, the concentrated essence of filial devotion as expressed
in checks and carte-blanche orders directed at his mother.
One of his earliest kind thoughts was to have Mrs. Lathrop's home
completely modernized, and as Susan Clegg lived next door and was his
mother's best and dearest friend, he decided to build her house over,
too.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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