Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"But what takes me is the way he's not only got a finger, but has just
smashed both hands, into every pie on the place," Susan continued. "He's
moved the chicken-house and give us each a horse and give the cow a calf
without even so much as 'by your leave.' I don't know which will be the
most surprised if this plan comes true--me with my horse, or the cow
finding herself with a calf in the fall as well as the spring this year.
Then it beats me where he's going to get all his trees, for both houses
is a blooming bower, and the way tree-toads will sing me to sleep shows
he's had no close friends in the country. Trees brushing your window
mean mosquitos at night and spiders whenever they feel so disposed. And
that ain't all, whatever you may think, for you haven't got a
window-pane over four inches square and, as every window has fifty-six
of them, I see your windows going dirty till out of very shame I get 'em
washed for your funeral. And that ain't all, whatever you may think,
either, for the snow is going to lodge all around all those little
gables and inglenooks he's trimmed your roof with, and you'll leak
before six months goes by, or I'll lose my guess."
But it was impossible to impress Mrs. Lathrop. If things leaked, Jathrop
would have them mended. She just rocked and rocked.
"I don't know what to write Jathrop about these plans," Susan Clegg said
slowly. "Of course, I've got to write him something, and I declare I
don't know what to say. He means it kindly, and there's nothing in the
wide world that makes things so hard as when people mean kindly. You can
do all sorts of things when people is enemies, but when any one means
anything kindly, you've got to eat it if it kills you. Mrs. Allen was
telling me the other day that since she's took a vow to do one good
action daily, she's lost most all of her friends.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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