Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"I've got it all fixed," said Susan, returning, dovelike, with the
evening shadows. "Mrs. Macy'll take one of us and Gran'ma Mullins the
other. Gran'ma Mullins says with Hiram gone to the Klondike and Lucy
gone to her father, either you or me can have their room; only for the
love of heaven we mustn't look like Hiram in bed; for her heart is
aching and breaking, and the car-wheels of his train ain't grinding on
any track half as much as they're grinding in her tenderest spot. Now
the question is, Mrs. Lathrop, which'll go which, and it's a thing as I
must consider very carefully, for Lord knows I don't want to be no more
miserable than I've got to be. And it goes without saying I wouldn't
choose to live with Gran'ma Mullins, nor Mrs. Macy, nor nobody else if I
had my choice. I'm too much give to liking to live alone with myself. Of
course, Mrs. Macy is a pleasanter disposition than Gran'ma Mullins, for
she ain't got Hiram to wear my bones into skin over; but I feel as
living with Mrs. Macy all summer will surely lead to her trying to make
it come out even for the rent up to next January, so I would have to
worry over that. Then, too, even if Gran'ma Mullins is wearing, she's
soothing too, and I shall need soothing this summer. I declare, Mrs.
Lathrop, I can't well see how I'm ever going to pack up my things. I
can't see what's to keep 'em from getting scratched and the corners
knocked. How can I fix a toilet set smooth together? A toilet set don't
never fit smooth together; the handles always stick out. And the
frying-pan's got a handle too, and a clothesbar ain't any ways adaptable
to nothing. Chair legs is very bad and table legs is worse, and there's
Mother's wedding-present clock as found its level years ago and ain't
been stirred since. Father give it to her, and it's so heavy I couldn't
stir it if I wanted to, anyhow. But I don't want to stir it. It's my
dead mother's last wish, and as such is sacred. I wasn't to stir Father
nor the clock. It's a French clock, and it's marble. It's a handsome
clock. It was Father's one handsome present to Mother. And now I've got
to put it in storage. And then there's our hens. I don't know but what
it'd be wisest to set right to eating them. I know one thing--I'll never
board chickens. Oh, Mrs. Lathrop, this is going to be an awful business!
Think of the carpets! Think of the window shades, and my dead mother's
lamberquins! Think of the things in the garret! And the things in the
cellar! And the things in the closets! I don't know, I'm sure, how we'll
ever get moved."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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